Welcome friend! I have another buddy read book for you today. 🙂 Stephen and I picked up The Collected Regrets Of Clover by Mikki Brammer many months back. The premise of this book drew me to it: What’s the point of giving someone a beautiful death if you can’t give yourself a beautiful life? Through this book I pondered a life that was all about helping the dying leave the world, while ignoring one personally. I had mixed feelings about this book. Here is what it is about:
Mikki Brammer | Goodreads
What’s the point of giving someone a beautiful death if you can’t give yourself a beautiful life?
From the day she watched her kindergarten teacher drop dead during a dramatic telling of Peter Rabbit , Clover Brooks has felt a stronger connection with the dying than she has with the living. After the beloved grandfather who raised her dies alone while she is traveling, Clover becomes a death doula in New York City, dedicating her life to ushering people peacefully through their end-of-life process.
Clover spends so much time with the dying that she has no life of her own, until the final wishes of a feisty old woman send Clover on a trip across the country to uncover a forgotten love story––and perhaps, her own happy ending. As she finds herself struggling to navigate the uncharted roads of romance and friendship, Clover is forced to examine what she really wants, and whether she’ll have the courage to go after it.
Probing, clever, and hopeful, The Collected Regrets of Clover is perfect for readers of The Midnight Library and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine as it turns the normally taboo subject of death into a reason to celebrate life.
What’s the point of giving someone a beautiful death if you can’t give yourself a beautiful life?
The Collected Regrets Of Clover – Review
The Collected Regrets of Clover is a contemporary fiction that focuses on death. Such conversations can be hard for family members and I found the approach of this book to be unique. The main character, Clover, is a 39 year old death doula. She has been there for close to 100 people at their deathbed, easing the transition from life to death, taking care of their loved ones, listening to their last words, regrets and confessions.Â
Clover’s choice of this profession is deeply seated in her inability to make it in time to see her grandfather before he passed away. Her parents didn’t care for her much and it was her grandfather who took her in at the age of 6 when they unexpectedly passed away. Throughout the book, Clover is averse to new experiences. She may have made it her mission to give people a peaceful time as they near their death, but she herself isn’t really living her life. She doesn’t have friends. She is addicted to romantic comedies. She would rather make up stories about neighbours than actually get to know them. The apartment she used to share with her grandfather is still full of his things. She lives in clutter and has little energy to upkeep her own living space. I felt her lack of interest in her own life disheartening and the few moments in the second half of the book where it felt like she was finally engaging with life offered me joy.Â
I loved that Clover documented what people told her on their deathbed. It is such a sweet way to personally commemorate them as well as have wisdom to look back on. While I was glad that was referring to these, I don’t think she utilized them very well. She took it on herself to fulfill dead people’s wishes, opting out of getting to know herself and follow her interests.
While the subject matter of The Collected Regrets of Clover is well done, I didn’t particularly develop a liking to most of the characters. The plot progressed in a predictable way and sometimes it felt too detail heavy than it needed to be. Clover meets Sebastian at a death cafe where people come to share their grief of losing loved ones. Seeing the death of his grandmother approaching soon and his family incapable of addressing the upcoming loss, he tries to build a support system and understanding of what is to come. Clover’s assessment of him is clouded by her own insecurities. Though Sebastian is a potential love interest, Clover does try to maintain a professional relationship with him when she starts taking care of his grandmother, Claudia. She doesn’t give him a fair chance in my opinion and that was definitely for the best. Through their interactions, it is clear how hard Clover tries not to get tangled up with people. I am a decade younger than her and though we are both introverts, I found her level of isolation hard to read. She self-sabotages good opportunities and I am glad that with Claudia’s help, she starts to consider changing.
Claudia is one of the best parts of this book. She is quirky and upfront – the no-nonsense old lady. She lived an adventurous life before she got married and settled down. She gets Clover interested in photography and her stories of her life as a professional photographer are an inspiration. Claudia shares one regret with Clover about a man she met in France who she considered running away with. I am glad Clover met her.
The theme of death was done well throughout the book because of Clover’s career. Grief though could have been addressed better than being packed in the second half. The death cafe could potentially have been utilized better to talk about grief of losing people rather than just as a set up for Sebastian and Clover to meet. Clover’s transformation was slow to start and then picked up too fast at the end. There were missed opportunities to talk about loss and though there were times when I was hopeful, the writing and plot did not meet my expectations.
Overall, this was a good buddy read. Have you read this book or plan to? Find it on Goodreads.
If you are looking for a non-fiction book about grief, check out Grief is Love.
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