Hello friend! Have you ever tried online dating or been curious about what that looks like? Today I am hosting author Lindsay Taylor Dellinger to share about her debut book, Swipe Write – a sometimes hilarious, sometimes sad, always brutally honest account of 20 online dates with 20 different men. Let’s meet her.
Get to know the authors: Lindsay
Welcome to Armed with A Book! Tell me and my readers a bit about yourself!
I am a former fashion industry Art Director, and I quit my job in September 2021 to pursue my lifelong passion for writing. My partner and I bought a school bus in March 2021 to convert into a tiny home on wheels, and we’re finally nearing the finish line! We’ll be traveling North America full time with our senior cat, Sir Benson Brunello, The First & Only (Benson, for short).
What inspired you to write this book?
My hairdresser actually planted the seed in my head after telling me that I couldn’t give up on online dating until I’d gone on at least twenty different first dates with twenty different men. I figured that that adventure would make an excellent memoir, so I began Swipe Write somewhere between the 7th and 8th online dates.
How long did it take you to write this book, from the first idea to the last edit?
3 years and 8 months
What makes your story unique?
My story is unique in that I weave tales of childhood trauma, divorce, addiction, and other serious topics into an otherwise humorous memoir. I’m not just describing the dates I’m going on; I’m also being very candid about the process and deeply personal issues.
Who would enjoy reading your book?
Anyone who has ever attempted online dating, who is currently online dating, or has never tried it but has been curious. Divorced, single women looking for love again or, at the very least, thinking about it. I also think this book is for anyone who likes to laugh and live vicariously but doesn’t necessarily have an interest in online dating themselves.
I think the notion that Swipe Write is primarily for women wouldn’t be accurate. There are definitely some pointers many men could benefit from, a sort of behind-the-scenes look at what the woman is going through and deals with. The experience is very different for men and women, and I think this book sheds some light on those facts.
What’s something you hope readers would take away from it?
I hope readers ask themselves important questions that parallel the ones I ask myself throughout the book. I hope they get to know themselves a little bit better, and of course, I hope they’re simply entertained!
Do you have a favourite quote or scene in the book that you find yourself going back to?
I do! It goes as follows:I learned early on that many would rather pop a pill than put down the shovel. Perhaps my drive to not become that masochistic fool, slowly digging toward her grave was stronger than the occasional urge to surrender.
Swipe Write
“…I was sixteen years old when I became familiar with heartbreak, when I developed a disdain for whoever made up the whole sticks and stones bullshit…”
Live vicariously through Lindsay Taylor Dellinger’s 20 online dates with 20 different men as she recounts the sweet to the downright absurd. From charming one-night stands to grown men genuinely spooked by skeletal art, come for the laughs and stay for the drama!
“…I teetered dangerously somewhere between a four-legged furry friend and a one-way flight to a Mediterranean country where the fine men were just as abundant as the fine wine…”
The thirty-three-year-old divorcée weaves her dating tales through a contrasting lens of therapy, wine, and an unforgiving past. Will she or won’t she find her “Ride or Die” online?
Content notes: This publication is unsuitable for children under the age of 18 due to explicit language and sexual scenes.
Book Excerpt from
Swipe Write
FEARS AND OTHER HUMAN COMPLEXITIES
I began asking myself questions like:
“What if this experiment was more about discovering myself than dating twenty different strangers?
What do my choices so far in these men say about me?
Why date a man who desperately wants kids when I’ve had surgery to ensure I don’t have them?
What does it say about me that I chose to continue dating a man clearly self-involved and more concerned with his appearance and social standing than what was going on on the inside?
What does it say about me that I engaged in highly charged sexting under the frustrating anticipation of acting out our fantasies?
What kinds of people am I allowing to infiltrate my orbit, and why does their presence feel like an invasion?
What kinds of thoughts am I allowing my energy to be utilized toward?
Are my daily actions serving me well or draining me?
Am I acting from a good place or out of ill will?
Am I self-sabotaging?
Am I giving the Benefit of the Doubt to undeserving individuals?”
I also began asking myself, perhaps the most important question of all:
“What do I fear?“
The answers were often confusing and contradictory. I tried to remember that we’re all complex human beings and how Mr. Baby Crazy would often project his own complexities upon me.
The answer to what I feared was everything. I’m scared of it not working out. I’m scared of it working out. I’m scared of not getting what I want and what I deserve. I’m scared of actually getting what I want and what I deserve.
The fears and insecurities are a fuckin’ mind fuck that, on the surface, makes no goddamned sense. However, what this fuckin’ mind fuck shouldn’t be confused with is a desire for it not to work out. I’ve always wanted it to work out. I want what I’ve deserved my whole life. I fear it because it’s unfamiliar. That’s all fear is, really – the hesitation that cohabits with the unknown.
Mr. Baby Crazy’s mother’s fear was that her son was going to die alone, to which I often thought, “Don’t we all die alone?” I know what she means, but I can’t say it’s my greatest fear. The dying part is easy. It’s the living alone part that’s the hardest.
I fear being alone for the rest of my life. I’ve literally lost sleep overthinking how my ninety-year-old grandmother has lost three of her five children, her husband, siblings, and countless other family members, including her parents. Using a cane, she lives alone, and I can only imagine her daily emotional and physical grapple with the perils of loneliness. I’ve exchanged handwritten cards with her on this loneliness because I still believe in the soon-to-be-forgotten, impactful art of the tangible sentiment. I sometimes worry I’ll end up exactly like her. I mean, we’re strong women, but I want more. I want my life partner, my ride or die.
Humans, mugs, self-help books, and saved Pinterest quotes all tell me the same general thing: to follow my fears. The majority of my fear, when it comes to relationships, lies primarily in finding what I deserve one day, investing so much of myself into it, and then losing it. It takes a whole lot of self-awareness and energy to invest oneself into that kind of unfamiliarity, especially after experiencing so much loss at such a young age.
Look, I get it; nothing in life is guaranteed. Learning that nothing lasts forever was a discouraging, hope-slaughtering, horse pill.
“Forever and a day,” my ex-husband, David, told me that was how long he was going to love me.
Two years after his bold declaration, his mother embroidered the sentiment in dark purple letters atop an ivory lace pillow that carried the rings on our wedding day. In fact, “Forever and a Day” was the entire theme of our ceremony while, perhaps, only a mere dream in our immature, inexperienced minds.
While his love lasted longer than a day, it certainly didn’t last anywhere near forever. My hopeless romantic dreams of meeting “the one” at a grocery store and living happily ever after had since long been crushed somewhere between the time I stopped watching soap operas and embarked upon a lengthy divorce.
Interested?
Find this book on Goodreads and Amazon.
Thank you so much for hanging out with us today! Connect with Lindsay on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. In addition to freelance writing and designing, Lindsay maintains her five-year-old blog, The Road Linds Travels. The blog covers everything from her near and far travels, the tragic losses of her life, wine, and a whole lot of in-between. She had featured in Creator’s Roulette and shared her pairing of coffees with different books, do check that out here!
If you are an indie author and would like to do a book excerpt, check out my work with me page for details.
Photo by Pratik Gupta on Unsplash
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