Making the Best of Author And Book Blogger Connections

In the months since becoming a book blogger and flaunting the avid reader and reviewer persona on the Internet, there have been a number of times when I have been dissatisfied at the ways in which authors’ content has been pushed at me. I was on my dear friend Stephen Zimmer’s podcast last month when he asked me to elaborate on my negative experiences with authors. A number of his listeners are indie authors, looking to make genuine connections with people, and this gave them an opportunity to learn a bit about working with a book blogger like me.

I have learned from conversations with book bloggers across the globe that there is a huge variety among us. I know some reviewers who are dedicated to indie authors, others only read a particular genre, while some book bloggers do not take review requests and review what they like. We might have different reasons and ways to create content for our book blogs, but certain things are the same:

# 1 We are avid readers.

# 2 We write for an audience.

We are a part of the reviewing community and feel passionately when authors talk about reviews. Apart from these positives, we have been exposed to some not-so-happy aspects of openly being a book blogger. In my less than one year of book blogging, some of the not-so-happy things that have happened to me on social media and through my own website are: 

1. Being added to newsletter lists maintained by marketing companies or author newsletters without giving consent.
2. Getting emails from authors with their book attached to the email.
3. Getting emails from authors directly even when I have a form especially for them through which I take requests on my website.
4. Unsolicited DMs where authors have said that they like my work and my website and if I will review their book (see point above).
5. Being tagged in tweets by authors where they quote how much someone else liked their book. I wonder if the intent here is that I am supposed to take their word and buy the book. I am not sure.
6. Being tagged in tweets by authors where they say their book is like 2 other well known books (which if they had done their research, they would know I haven’t read) so I should check out their book.
7. Authors have added their book links to my twitter threads aimed at book bloggers sharing their work. We have a joke in our book blogging community that authors are attracted by #author like moths to a flame.
8. Getting repeat emails from authors about their review requests before I have had a chance to reply, even though I said I will reply within a week even if I do not accept the review request.

If you are a book blogger / reviewer on any platform open to review requests, I bet at least one of those things has happened to you! 

Here are some things I have done in response to the above situations:

1. Replied back to the marketing companies and authors to get me off their list.
2. Changed my website to make my email harder to find.
3. Changed my Work with Me page to reflect that an email to me with the book attached will automatically mean I am not reviewing it.
4. Ignored random tweets from authors.
5. Redirected unsolicited DMs to my Work with Me page, though I wonder if they were on my website anyway, why didn’t they fill out the form?

Social Media to Spread the Word

Social media is such a tricky territory. There are no rules. You can be whoever you want to be. But what baffles me every time one of the above happens is how people in a community catered to writing do not read. The need to have an audience and exposure overrides everything. 

I’m a reader. I am the customer and often an avid fan, not a salesperson. Not a marketing tool at your disposal. In this post, I would like to take an objective look at the above mentioned practices and at the notion that maybe those practices are alienating the very people they are intending to help. Is the ideal customer, the to-be fan, becoming the tool?

Book bloggers have said multiple times that we don’t do this as a full time job. Book blogging and reviewing is a hobby. We do it for the love of reading and the connection we have and feel toward the book and characters within it. We do it for the love of storytelling and learning from other people’s (character’s) experiences. When such marketing and advertising tactics are played on us, many of us reconsider why we do this at all. 

Imagine this:

You are at a grocery store at the ice cream aisle and a business owner for an ice cream maker comes up to you and asks, “Are you interested in ice creams?” 

You say, “Yes. I love ice cream. It helps me self-care!” 

He is so thrilled to have found you. “Great, can you hand out these flyers about my ice cream maker?”

Credits: My hilarious friend, Brent

Does standing by the ice cream aisle warrant an interaction like that?

Am I asking for unwanted attention by being a book blogger who is open to review requests from authors? 

I realize that maybe others do not think of this attention as unwanted. However, I want to raise awareness about the many things that we have started doing as a community that may have a negative effect on others. We don’t know if we don’t talk about it, right? Awareness is half the battle. 

The Unsaid Expectations

Twitter has some controversy going on all the time – whether it is authors not wanting to be tagged in negative reviews, authors shaming reviewers and saying they never read the book at all… We tend to focus a lot on the authors reactions but not about the connections and relationships that make up a positive and supportive indie community. Partly we are on social media for the drama so of course these reactions and controversial opinions get more limelight. There is more to the writing community than just these controversies and it is the positive that makes me stick around and continue to be a part of it. 

However, I also wonder, do authors in general ever think of promoting book bloggers and reviewers, after the first time that review is posted on the website, especially if they reached out for the review first? Have they ever recommended their favorite book bloggers? They have the power to promote and foster a community of their fans as well!

Let’s take a step back and think about all the other people who have helped in making the book what it is today – do beta readers, editors, publishers, do they get the appreciation they deserve? Or is everything a means to an end? 

If I loved your work, I am a fan! If you contacted me and I signed up to review your book, I’ll post about it and share it to social media from time to time. My time goes into reading your book, staging your book, creating graphics for it that I can share on multiple sites, multiple times. I know some lovely authors who have made genuine connections with me, regularly read my work and give me feedback on it. I know they recommend me to others and my connections keep growing, but is that the intent that most people have?

Part of the problem is that in a book blogger – author relationship, expectations may not be shared honestly, and this is something I am working on as I undertake discussions like this one with my peers and community at large. Sharing of expectations honestly falls on both our shoulders – book bloggers and authors. I have worked with a number of authors in the last few months and I have had a varying degree of relationships with them. Before I can clearly define expectations to someone else, I need to know them myself.

Maybe I want the author to post my review of their book in the future on their social media. Maybe I am looking for more connections with the writing community and this is the way to get it.

I have been on blog tours where I commit to reading and writing about a book, often hosting the author for an interview and then in return, I usually don’t even get a comment on my blog. Is a retweet or like of my tweet a fair exchange for the time I spent reading the book and articulating a review for it? What I’m realizing is that I have expectations and desires that I have not communicated. 

On the other side, maybe when an author approaches me, they just want a review. Maybe that free book and review in exchange for it is all that they expect. There might be more to it though. If I was in their shoes, I would expect more. Won’t it be nice if the reviewer reads my book, loves it and recommends it to other people? Maybe they will even post about it from time to time and I’ll get some sales. 

Why can we just not be honest about what we expect? Kota, who you will meet shortly, told me about the reciprocality theory: Theory of reciprocity is the rewarding of positive actions (and the punishing of negative ones). When for example, I do something nice, like review your book and praise it on Twitter, you reward me with something, such as a comment, or a public thank you or praise, etc. 

What are some unsaid expectations of getting reviews/giving reviews? What sort of reciprocation are we expecting?

When I review books that I buy myself, I do not have this problem at all. I paid for that book. I expect nothing from the author and publisher. I am one of their thousands of sales and have never had any contact with them. Expectations arise when there is human contact, even virtually.

The Indie Author Side

I am not lacking in books to read, and the only reason I take on books for review is because it exposes me to people and genres I might not be able to find in my usual searches. Big publishing companies and authors who have pumped lots of money in marketing and advertising have made their books visible on multiple platforms. Seeing an advertisement once does not make me go buy the book, but seeing it 20 times will likely pique my curiosity. 

Do indie authors have this sort of luxury and influence? They do not, and they are the ones who turn to book bloggers for reviews. They are the ones who have to spend time contacting people, getting reviews and somehow stand out on the big selling charts on Amazon. But with our negative experiences with the community, and an ever growing TBR pile, book bloggers close off their review requests.

So who suffers? 

There are a plethora of talents in the community and professionals like designers, editors, illustrators, that support the community. This year, I’ve been trying hard to find these creatives and learn from them, whether it is about publishing, poetry, education, designing, writing, self-confidence – anything that is knowledge we should share with others. 

But what about best practices? What about the etiquette of approaching someone? When did it become okay to not be genuine in our interactions with others? When did it become okay to spam people?

Do we not even ask ourselves anymore if we are contacting someone purely for our own gain with no intention of giving anything in return? Do we ever consider that book bloggers are not here to get a free book, and would rather have a conversation instead?

But enough about me. If I want more perspectives to be shared, I have to lead by example, right? So I want to introduce you to Dakota Rayne, who runs the indie press Inked in Gray. Let’s see what her experience has been in collaborating with authors and the publishing industry in general, and from there we will brainstorm some ideas of fostering a positive experience in the writing community.

Struggles of an Indie Publisher

As an indie publisher and editor I LOVE making connections. One of the main reasons I started Inked is because of visibility. I WANT to see more stories within our community. I want to see and help authors succeed in telling their stories. Visibility is hard as an indie author, and even as an indie publisher. We compete with all the bigger, cooler publishing houses that have tons more money, resources, and street cred than probably all indie publishers combined. In conversation with Stephen I learned that traditional publishers might even have personal ties with those in companies like Amazon, people who can help them work more effectively with algorithms. Most self-published authors don’t have this resource. For them, publishing and selling a book is akin to running uphill backwards in the snow. 

With that in mind, I try to do my part in reading, reviewing, and recommending small and self published authors. With that said, I have over a dozen reviews to write and post to Goodreads and my website, whenever I find time to get that fucker up. Soon, I promise. 

I read a good mix of indie and traditionally published books. I’ve found that I like both equally. There are amazing traditional books and amazing indie books. Do I wish indie books were easier to find? Hell fuck yes. We need more resources and avenues to help give visibility to the indie community. Seeing such needs in the community, efforts are being made for indie books to get that exposure – check out indiestorygeek.com and you’ll find a number of indie reads in one place!

What I see is people struggling to get sales, trying to play the Amazon algorithm, and actively soliciting an audience for their story. And rightly so. Everyone wants their book to do well. Most authors want readers to fall in love with their characters and their world… and buy their book. We write because we have a story to tell.

There are a shit ton of ways to do that. Google “How to sell more books” and you will come across a myriad of suggestions, services, and blogs about what strategies worked or didn’t work. Some of these suggestions and thoughts are great. But some are not. 

Personal Boundaries

Boundaries are a very gray area in our social media culture, as are expectations. What I see often on social media are frustrations with authors violating those boundaries by dumping ads into people’s DMs. It’s akin to tagging someone’s door with an advertisement. There’s no connection, and others are often left feeling frustrated or dumped on. It often doesn’t lead to sales. 

DMing a stranger (even if you follow each other) about your book is like going up to a random stranger and soliciting a conversation in the grocery store (wasn’t the ice cream maker one above cringe worthy?). Or sticking one of those stickers for free windshield with insurance under my wiper blades in the parking lot. 

Those who know me know I’m big on connection. I enjoy that shit. What makes me pick up a book is the blurb, the pitch, the conversation with the author that sparks my interest. I’ve come across many great authors by interacting with them on my personal feed and on Inked’s Twitter feed. We post our daily questions because we want to interact with the community. We aren’t here to spam you to buy our books (though we hope you do). We want to be a contributing part of the community we operate in. That’s why I started the Indie Resource Directory – to find cool indie bloggers, editors, and cover designers to connect with.

I’ve found many great people and books from our posts and my personal interactions. I love hearing from everyone and having those conversations with them. And hearing that our posts are helpful and inspiring? Icing on the cake. 

In talking to Kriti, I had no idea what goes on behind the scenes of book blogging. I didn’t realize how much effort and frustration being a reviewer can entail. A lot of my experience and frustration regarding etiquette comes from what I’ve experienced in my short time on Twitter. I realized very quickly that there is the expectation to follow back, and that DMs are free game.

I was completely unprepared for unsolicited DMs asking for things like follows back, book purchases, and retweets. Like at least say hello first, right? I may be old fashioned, but even though I love engaging with everyone on Twitter and even with strangers in my DMs, I like to have a connection with a person first before I’m asked for something. I appreciate the need for advertising, but I don’t think Twitter DMs should be treated like tagging a car windshield in a parking lot with an ad. And I don’t think we ever should get to that point. 

Granted, we don’t know where everyone’s personal boundaries are, but traditionally, cold calls are not successful and they can be off-putting. It feels invasive, and it takes away the choice from the recipient who is receiving that message. The sender knows if it was read and if the reader responded. Same with the follow back culture. A person should have a choice to follow back or not – and not because society or culture directs us to. 

That being said, it seems like social media has developed some gray areas on etiquette and boundaries that we should talk about as a culture to promote understanding on both sides, especially in the writing community. 

Making the Best of Author and Book blogger Connections

Based on our shared experiences, what is something we can do to help each other in our various endeavors within the Writing Community? How can we as authors, readers and a community, facilitate an understanding and awareness of the process of engaging with bloggers and reviewers? Here are some ideas from us and the community.

Key Ideas:

• Remember we are a community – readers won’t exist without writers and writers won’t exist without readers. 
• Try to be in other people’s shoes. Show empathy and kindness.

Considerations:

1 – Be Cognizant of Consequences. 

Don’t randomly DM individuals with an ad or randomly tag in a promo. If this is behaviour you don’t like being on the receiving end of, then please don’t engage in it. But if you do not mind such texts, remember that a lot of us have politely ignored these messages but at some point the dam will break and you might end up being on the receiving end of a very angry message. 

2 – Acknowledge. 

Know that reviewers and bloggers put a lot of work into their passion. Know that if you enjoy our work, we’d love to hear reviews on our work too! As a reviewer and blogger, I (Kriti) am a writer. Like any writer, I am looking for feedback to be better. 

3 – Research. 

Almost every book blog has a review policy which details how to go about sending the request to review. Like SKaeth said, if you are looking for someone to review your work, approach reviewing like querying. Every person in this cycle of promoting your work, whether it is using your own graphics or through writing about your work, deserves respect.

4 – Ask. 

If you are unsure of a person’s boundary or expectation, many may respect the kind question of “What are your personal boundaries in regards to this?” For me, (Kota), it is akin to someone asking me what my gender preferred pronouns are or if something is a trigger to me or not. I’m a fan of open and candid conversation, and I think that the more open conversation we have about our ever changing norms, expectations, and boundaries, the more supportive a community we can foster. 

5 – Accept and Move On.

Remember that everyone who writes is a writer, whether it is in the form of a book or a blog. Writing isn’t always perfect and just like we aren’t expected to like every movie or TV series on Netflix, a reader will not like every book that comes their way. Yes, there is a constructive, polite way of writing a negative review. At the same time, there is a level of courtesy in accepting that negative review and moving on from it. Just like I don’t convert every viewer of my book blog into a follower, it is unrealistic to be mad about someone not liking your work and then screaming at them (yes, that happens too).  

To this last point, I also want to remind the fans that just because you loved the book does not mean that another person who did not engage in it the same way has an invalid opinion. We are not fostering a positive community when members feel scared of being called out for not liking a book that others loved. A difference of opinion is healthy and acceptable.

Conclusion

Etiquette as a whole is a very nuanced beast. Etiquette varies by person, community, situation, medium, etc. Many times we don’t know the effect we have on someone or something until we cross a personal boundary. What this article seeks to say is that there is so much more to the story that maybe it is time we start talking about culture and how we interact in it. How we want to be perceived is sometimes not how we come across. And maybe it’s not intentional. 

Openness and awareness are the key to making change. Should we have to put our pronouns and DM preferences in our profile? No. But should we make a connection and ask what a person’s preferences are in order to be cognizant and respectful of someone’s boundaries? Yes. 

Every influencer and creative out there, from blogger, editor to writer, is looking for an audience and has put a lot of thought into the ways in which they want to be contacted.

When we genuinely want to make a connection with someone and foster a community, it only takes a couple clicks to find these channels to reach them and learn more about them before we decide to work with them. You never know what may come from building a new connection. 

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Tell us: What is something new you learned from this post and one thing you would change in how you interact with the community?

Shout outs: This blog post, ‘Making the Best of Author and Book blogger Connections’ would not be possible without the insights from SKaeth, Stephen, Alex, and Zenobia – and of course Kota! A big thank you to the book blogging community for supporting readers and writers, always. 🙂

Last Updated: Nov 19, 2021

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