Since writing regularly on the blog, I have had numerous opportunities to think about my online presence and being authentic, thinking back to my posts on likes and blogging goals. My online self is same as my real self, and though I know my journey to making that conscious decision, I have wondered about how other people have gotten there. I am thrilled to say that today’s Creator’s Roulette post offers insight into this very topic!
I connected with Jas on Twitter, and it has been a pleasure to get to know her and support her in her endeavors. When she reached out to me about writing about authenticity, I thought it would be wonderful to tap into our shared experiences of being from India and see how we have developed. I love her eclectic tastes, and similar to how I dabble in many things, she does too. Let’s get to know her a little more!
Jaspreet Kaur, better known as Jas, is a Sikh Punjabi American, whose pronouns are she/her. She’s been blogging for a year and a half now, at JasBeingJas.com. A woman with many interests, JasBeingJas is a lifestyle blog with book reviews, recipes, and whatever else her heart desires. Jas strives to build a positive space in the little corner of the internet she inhabits. She’s not trying to inspire you. She’s just looking to be confident in her most authentic self, and share that with the world. But if you decide you want to recreate some of the things she’s tried, she wants to give you the tools to do it! She’ll be your biggest hype woman. Literally, it was her 2019 new years resolution to be your biggest hype woman.
Average, Authentic, Absolutely Me
By Jas Kaur
As a kid, I was pretty shy, but as I gained confidence I also grew quite ambitious. I think most South Asians would guess this had to do with my parents and their having a certain set of standards, but that’s not at all the case. I truly believe that all my parents wanted for me was a good education and financial stability. I don’t think they cared about where I stood in relation to other kids. My Papaji (paternal granddad) was an educator back in India and he truly believed in the power of education, and was determined that all of his grandchildren should have it.
When I told my dad I wanted to be an accountant, he didn’t suggest I become a doctor or engineer instead, like I hear were the only options for so many of my peers. His response was “good, the world will always need accountants, you’ll have job security, a decent salary, and if you wanted to, you could become a CEO one day!” So that was it. I made a choice and I was supported. I felt very in control of my career, and I feel very much that my ambition was my own and not something I was forced into.
When I was in college, I joined the Leadership Development Program. I had been pretty involved on campus(you had to be to put something on your resume), and I liked to think of myself as a leader. So when I learned that the Leadership Development Program at my university was in the top 25 in the US, I knew I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted that Certificate in Leadership, if only to validate that I was, in fact, a good leader.
Ultimately, so much of that program opened my eyes and helped me become the leader that I am today.
One of the first things we learned was that leadership was not about a position or a title. In hindsight, it sounds a lot like, “be the change you want to see in the world.” But I loved the sense of purpose to it. I started treating every club or organization I was in with the same care that I would as someone in a leadership position. I didn’t step on any toes, but I did start investing in the success of the group, regardless of what my official position was. There were times where I wasn’t in a leadership position, but those around me still mistook me for President or Secretary, or some role, because I wanted the club to succeed and I wanted to be helpful.
Not only was I experiencing the idea that I didn’t need a title to be a leader first hand, but not needing that position also motivated me to spend more time nurturing those who joined after me so that they could lead. Because I didn’t need the title or the accolades, I let go of some control, I included who would be the next leaders, and I empowered those around me. I was happy to step back and let someone who was passionate about a particular event take the lead. I was happy to support someone and give them a moment to shine.
As a creator I very much had the mentality of, it’s okay if I don’t have followers. I don’t need to grow my following at all costs. If people enjoy it, then they will stick around, and if they don’t, that’s okay. Ultimately, I am sharing with the world what I like and what I find joy in.
To be fair, this also might have been easier for me to let go of because I do not care for fame. This was the second major take away from the program that still guides so many of the choices I make, as a blogger and creative. One of the many assessments we did through the program was assessing our values. Values based leadership is all about using your values to guide your leadership. Of all the different values in the assessment, I scored lowest on fame. I do not care to be in the spotlight. I love doing a lot of the management or behind the scenes work. Appreciation is nice, but I don’t need my name or face attached to the end product.
This is at odds with being a blogger, considering you usually want a following or a brand. But as I am not doing this to be the best, I’m free to share the things I care about without worrying about what is trendy. This freedom has given me the strength to share the opinions I’m a little nervous to share, like recently on an episode of the Caffeinated Brown Girl Podcast, where I discussed the shortcomings in diversity and inclusion in South Asian spaces.
These two pieces, not worrying about fame or focusing on follower counts, have helped me build what is an authentic presence online. And has helped me with so much of the community building I’ve started and engaged with. I’ve connected with people in a more meaningful way and built an online presence I can be proud of! Because even if I don’t have the most followers or the best content, I know that my small corner of the internet is genuine.
Whenever we talked about what makes a good leader, authenticity was key. I like to think that I can tell when someone is being insincere. And even if I don’t know for certain whether or not they’re being genuine, I do know that having that feeling kills any motivation to work with that person. So in the same suit of “be the change you want to see”, I don’t want to be insincere online. I’m not a very good actress anyway, but I figured the best way to avoid seeming fake, was to just not be.
As a book blogger, I didn’t start chasing every ARC or publisher. In fact, I usually read whatever book was on my TBR and if I liked it, shared it! Most of my blog tours are for small indie or self published authors. My reviews are not sought after, but if it’s a good book and someone has put a lot of effort into it, then who cares if it’s not on the NYT best sellers list! I want to share it, because it’s what I’m enjoying.
In being authentic, as a food blogger, I stopped trying to reinvent the wheel! Rather than pretend I knew how to make everything, or that I had a great recipe for it all, I would just tag whoever’s recipe I tried and share it with my followers. I’m not the world’s greatest chef, but I’m taking joy in cooking the things that I try and I want others to feel like they can take pride in those little things too! I’m by no means an expert. In fact, I would say I’m pretty mediocre. But I also think that it’s incredibly okay.
If we were to only concern ourselves with being the best, how often would we try things? How often would we put ourselves out there or take risks? We talk about how failure is hard, but often, we don’t even take the steps to get comfortable with being okay, or average.
I know this isn’t easy. There is so much criticism online. So many people who sit behind their screens and type away things like “this isn’t that great,” at best. Or, make comments that are absolutely cruel, at worst. As a content creator, you don’t know all of your followers, and with a public account you don’t even know who all might come across it.
But to get comfortable putting ourselves out there, and to get comfortable being our authentic selves, the best leaders we could possibly be, we have to be okay with being average. We can’t be scared of words like mediocre.
2020 has been such a roller coaster of a year, that I hope others will join me in sharing the little things that bring us joy. A first shot at a recipe, even if it isn’t picture perfect. The book that has been on our nightstand for years, even if the rest of the world has already read it. That pin on Pinterest that looked way easier than it was!
Don’t wait until you’re the best, to share it. You never know, who will be inspired to start their own journey, when you share yours.
I hope you enjoyed this post by Jas. Connect with her on her blog and Instagram. She manages the South Asian Book Bloggers Directory, a network for authors and bloggers of South Asian origin. If you are interested in joining the network, you can sign up here! If you are a South Asian Author who would like to work with reviewers in the directory, you can email me at hello@jasbeingjas.com and she can share the opportunity/book with the group.
Cover image: Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Jas is truly a cheerleader for everyone who stumbles on her path! Loved reading this – really inspirational. “Value based leadership” is going to be my new motto! ❤️