Happy Thursday, friend! Welcome to an interview with author Gail Marlene Schwartz about her novel, Falling Through the Night. In this book, a queer 30-something grapples with Generalized Anxiety Disorder while navigating her desire for love and family. Let’s chat with Gail and learn more.
Get to know the author: Gail Marlene Schwartz
Hi Gail! Welcome back to Armed with A Book. Tell me and my readers a bit about yourself!
Thanks for the opportunity, Kriti! I’m a writer, teacher, and coach living in Vermont. I’m passionate about art, music, connection/relationships, community, personal development, social change, animals, kids, the outdoors, and anything that makes me laugh or confront my faults. I live with my partner, Erin, a visual artist and academic advisor, and I share a 13-year old son with my ex and best friend who lives in Montreal.
What inspired you to write this book?
Falling Through the Night was born out of a bunch of essays about queer motherhood and parenting with anxiety. I had published many short pieces in litmags and online outlets, but I really wanted to write a book. Since I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be an author, and writing a novel was the quintessential author experience, and I wanted to offer my work to the world in that form. I worked with Betsy Warland, an esteemed Canadian author, as a developmental editor when there were just the essays, and she asked me halfway through our in-person meeting if I thought the material wanted to be a novel. That was a terrifying and liberating moment, because I did not think I was capable of writing a novel, yet I was far more interested in delving into a fictional character than I was in my own life. Ultimately, Betsy was right!
How long did it take you to write this book, from the first idea to the last edit?
It took close to ten years.
What makes your story unique?
The book addresses quite a few social issues (queer identity, chosen family, mental health, healing generational trauma, immigration) while having what I feel is a strong story arc. I’ve been told my characters are very flawed and lovable and that I’m not afraid of going into dark aspects of human nature. There’s also a lot of optimism in the book and some humour amidst the challenging subjects.
Who would enjoy reading your book?
My audience is typically women and queer folks interested in healing, relationships, alternative family, the arts, and social change. But I also think anybody who is fundamentally curious about those topics would feel engaged.
Did you bring any of your experiences into this book?
Absolutely. Like Audrey, I struggle with anxiety, I’m queer, and my chosen family is my social place of belonging. I immigrated to Canada to marry a French-Canadian woman, and I gave up one of my twins for adoption. A lot of the setting is from my experience living in Vermont and in Montreal. But Audrey is also not me. She has a great if troubled relationship with her mom, she is much younger and grew up with a disabled identity and received services, and she’s introverted.
What’s something you hope readers would take away from it?
I really want to communicate that mess and success can coexist. Just because someone struggles with mental health issues does not mean they won’t or can’t play an important part in life and fulfil their dreams. It’s ultimately a very hopeful message.
Do you have a favourite quote or scene in the book that you find yourself going back to?
I adore the relationship between Audrey and her best friend Jessica, and there are two scenes that make me smile every time I read them. In the first, the friends get together for their favourite type of evening: hanging out at Jess’ place, making homemade Hawaiian pizza and milkshakes, and watching Jurassic Park. In the second, they are playing the game Bananagrams. They talk to each other in this really funny, honest, clippy way. They are vulnerable and raw. Jessica really challenges Audrey in ways nobody else in her life does.
What is something you have learned on your author journey so far?
Promotion is the nut I just haven’t cracked. My strength is depth, not breadth. I said in one of my social media videos that I’m bad at being popular, and it’s true. I have settled on doing events that will please me and that allow me to exist in the world the way that I want to. For example, I’ll be part of a service at the Unitarian Church of Montreal with the theme of personal transformation. Another event is coming to speak at a college class on Intercultural Communication, and a third is a private event at a friend’s place that we’re calling “Sip ‘n Share,” where we’ll have hors d’oeuvres and mix readings with conversation about chosen family. I want people to read my book, but I’m just not interested in celebrity; I’m interested in conversation.
What’s the best piece of advice you have received related to writing?
Structure your life so there are deadlines. It doesn’t matter how; I started a digital litmag with some friends called Hotch Potch Literature and Art (https://linktr.ee/hotchpotchliterary), and we have issue deadlines twice a year. I know that no matter what, I’ll write and publish at a minimum two stories each calendar year. I am also an extrovert and having writing community has helped my writing immensely; find a few critique partners you love and can trust.
If you could give a shout out to someone(s) who has helped in your writer journey, please feel free to mention them below!
OMG there are so many people! I’ve been really lucky…Brooke McIntyre of Inked Voices has been such a rock around writing community, and she was also part of an accountability group I was in for years. What a wonderful soul! My fellow Potchers (Marco, Erin, Heather, Pam, Christine, and Mary Lynne) are really important people in my writing life. And someone who is not in my life anymore but who was very important for years was the writer Talia Weisz, who was a critique partner as well as a friend. I hope she is well.
Where can readers find you on the Internet?
Falling Through the Night
Women’s fiction, LGBTQ fiction, 2024
Audrey Meyerwitz wants to fall in love and have a family. But for this queer 30-something insomniac who’s struggled with Generalized Anxiety Disorder since childhood, it’s a goal that’s far from simple. When best friend Jessica, a recovering alcoholic, helps introvert Audrey with a profile on SheLovesHer, Audrey takes that scary first step toward her lifelong dream. Through online dating, immigrating to Canada, and having a baby with Down Syndrome, she struggles and grows. But when Audrey unearths a secret about her mother, everything about her identity as a mother, a daughter, and a person with mental illness ruptures. How do we create closeness from roots of deep alienation? With humor, honesty, and complexity, Audrey learns that healthy love means accepting gains and losses, taking off the blinders of fantasy, and embracing the messiness that defines human families.
Content notes include anxiety, suicide, cancer death.
Book Excerpt from
Falling Through the Night
It’s raining, so we decide to watch Jurassic Park for the fourteenth time and make Hawaiian pizza and chocolate milkshakes.
I mix the flour and water and Jess chops the pineapple and ham. It’s almost enough to distract me from thinking about Denise.
“Everything was going great until I told her about my rich emotional life. I’m sure she figured it out. I’m such an idiot.” I stick my hands in the bowl and start mushing.
“Maybe she’s going out with another woman from the ad. Maybe she met that woman first. Like you.” Jessica pops a piece of pineapple in her mouth.
I ignore the reference to Cheryl. Jess is judgmental. I keep kneading the dough, knowing it would be useless to go there.
“How could it not be a rejection? I asked her out and she said she no. If you’re interested, you don’t say you’re busy. You say, ‘Not now, but how about next weekend?’ If you’re interested, you say what you’re doing, like you’re taking your Aunt Matilda to the Insect Museum, or you have to go watch your niece’s miniature horse competition, but if you have a date you say you’re busy, or that you have plans. She said she had plans.”
“You’re killing my fun, Meyerwitz,” says Jess as she puts the chopped ham and pineapple on the counter and starts shredding the cheese.
We get the food made and eat and scream and cuddle up with the afghan. I do my best to push Denise into the recesses of my mind. I take my evening meds with my milkshake.
“Those the new ones?”
“Yup. But could be two weeks before I feel anything.”
We stare at the screen as the guy on the toilet gets eaten by the T-rex. Then Jess pauses the movie and looks at me.
“You’re counting.”
“Sorry.” I give her a toothy grin.
“Shush. Does Denise want kids?”
“Says she’s open to it.”
Jessica clucks. I slap her arm. Then I remember.
“Hey, did I tell you I talked to Mom? She’s actually coming. Here. To visit me!”
“Really? Who’s going to watch the three-ring circus while she’s gone?”
“Freddy and Natascha. He has to do a few days of research in Albany, and she’s between jobs so they said they would come. For a whole week!”
We talk about the visit and some possible activities we could do when she comes.
“Ben ‘n Jerry’s? Too mainstream?” asks Jess. We check our phones. Lots of spring events, and I start collecting URLs. Lilac Festival. International Food Fair. Jess looks up. “What about a tour of independent bookstores?” I make a face. She sticks out her tongue. “This is for Martha, silly. You don’t even have to look at the books.” I know she’s right but I return to my phone. Buffet brunch by the students of the New England Culinary Institute in Montpelier. Art Hop in Burlington’s South End.
I look up. “It’s fine if you have other stuff to do. I don’t need a date to hang out with my mother.” The word “date” brings my thoughts back to Denise and I start counting again. Jessica squeezes my hand without taking her eyes off her phone. We find a few other possibilities for Mom’s visit and then return to the movie.
Before I leave, I remember that next week, the last week of June, is the second anniversary of Jess’ brother Max’s death.
“Are you doing anything with your family on Tuesday?” I try to sound casual, unintrusive. Jess gets up and starts clearing dishes.
“I wanted to go to the gravesite all together. Christopher is flying in, but just for one night because he has back-to-back shows the next day.” She rinses her plate for way too long.
I get up and bring in the cups and napkins. “How about your dad?” I grab the sponge and start wiping the counter.
“He’s got two pregnant cows who could give birth any minute now so he probably won’t make it. If Dad doesn’t need her, Eve will come. And of course Mom, well, being Mom, she hasn’t returned my calls for at least a month.”
I try to catch her eye, see her expression. She won’t look at me.
“Anything I can do?”
Jess picks up the last slice of pizza. “You could come over and make my bath and read me Ramona the Brave like last year.” She stuffs the triangle into her mouth with her head tilted back, a piece of ham dangling near her chin. I can’t help smiling.
“Ramona, bubbles, whatever you want, I’ll be there.”
“That’d be good, Meyerwitz.” Her words are barely coherent through the chewed pizza. She gives me a tiny smile, first with mouth closed, then wide open. I shriek and chase her around the island wielding a deadly pizza crust.
Interested?
Find Falling Through the Night on Amazon, Goodreads and IndieStoryGeek. Thanks for taking the time to join us for this interview!
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