February – April 2019 I was a student teacher at a wonderful school, where I taught Grades 8 and 9 Math. My time with the kids was transformative for me – I did not realize how much I could love them. My whole life revolved around them for a couple months and I look back at those months fondly. They are memories close to my heart.
A week ago, I got an invite from them to attend their junior high graduation and farewell. I said I would go and I am writing this (special thanks to Myckaila and Jaylyn for reminding me) after attending their beautiful ceremony. You did not see it, kids, but I was in tears, when Jairus and Jordan Nand played the song, Christina’s speech about life being like a chapter book (I love books!), Myckaila and Char’s messages to the teachers and their peers, and the short movie clip of all your memories.
You are all very special, wiser in some ways than me, when I was your age. Definitely more tech-savy than me too.
My own convocation is around the corner and coming to yours, being happy with you for you, and watching your nervous selves become confident speakers on the stage, reminded me of just how much these moments matter. Even if you are the one who doesn’t like pictures to be taken, or you are not one to dress up for a celebration, know that ultimately all the celebrations, whether it is your farewell from junior high school into high school, or (in my case) from university to work, they are all about you. Even if you feel your parents make a lot of fuss about things you don’t care about much, or the fuss dies out so quickly that you don’t know why it even existed, it’s normal. However, these are all your memories, not anyone else’s.
In the Fall, you will be in a new school, surrounded by many many people. As you prepare to make that move, here are some things I want you to know. These are things I have learned, from school and university, and some of it is just from being a millennial. We are only 10-years apart, you know. 🙂
# 1 Know that you will always make friends
After my Grade 10, I changed schools and I didn’t know anyone in this new place. I remember my first day, walking through the grounds, having no idea where my homeroom was.
I know that for many of you, you will stick around with some of your classmates at the very least, but don’t worry about it. You will always make more friends. Be who you are and you will find people who will appreciate you and accept you as their friend because of who you are. Don’t fake for anyone. Some of the closest friends I made in school was because I used to write poetry. My favourite memory is from Grade 11 (the class I has just met) when at the end of a school day, all my classmates stood around me, listening, as I read the poem I had written about our class. It was an epic feeling. I should dig it out of my poem books and add it here later.
#2 Express yourself.
Whether it is through a blog, poems (see the photo below and look up blackout poetry for a more artistic twist), stories, music, letters or emails you exchange with friends, don’t keep your thoughts to yourself. Write them if you can, even if you never show them to anyone. I look back at all the stuff I wrote in my poem books (I started writing in Grade 8) and it’s awful. I was mopping over boyfriends, angry with friends, reimagining my favourite episodes of Pokemon, being all zen about the sun… all that mattered to me then and no matter how lame it feels now, it’s all documentation. In some ways, it’s better than pictures, though the live ones are pretty cool. It’s nice to visit my teenage mind once in a while. Make some notes on yours while you have it.
# 3 Don’t be afraid of change.
It’s part of life. I bet you have heard that sentence a lot and you will experience it as you grow older but just know that we are all in the same boat. You and I: I still don’t do change very well. As long as you can see the good and bad, and learn what you can from things, whether it was a broken friendship, a break-up or someone moving away, you will be fine. It has happened to all of us and if you need someone to talk to, you will always have people who will listen.
# 4 Find all the things you are good at.
This is not to make a poster for your wall to remind you how awesome you are (well, you can always do that if you want) but to show you that you have many talents. Some of those talents you can easily identify in yourself (go on, admit it) while others your friends will be able to tell you. Remember them and refer to them when you need some strength. It’s always in you. Explore and go on adventures (whatever definition of adventure you may have – my favourite adventures are going to Chapters and staying there exploring books but hey I am a bookworm, what did you expect?).
# 5 Celebrate successes for the journey not the result.
Graduations and farewells feel like the end of things, “It’s official!” And in some ways they are. But they are not there to celebrate how many marks you got on the test or the number of days your were at school. They are about the journey. The things you learned, the experiences you had, the friends you made. Some parts are shiny and others are not but you have come this far and you will go further. Always going forward. Even if part of you is like “ah it’s just another school year”, talk back to that voice. No year is ever the same so every single moment deserves the celebration. Looking back at my last convocation, I know much has changed.
And related to that, learn to laugh at the infuriating things.
# 6 Stay in touch.
When I went to school, I did not have Siri tagging along with me. I had Facebook to which I added people slowly but there were no other ways to just stay in touch. You have Twitter, Instagram… find ways to stay in touch! Your teachers love you and would always love to know how you are doing. On a side note, number of followers and the friends that you have on social media are not a competition. I have been there and it’s all very superficial.
The people around you matter more than the people behind the screens. So, don’t hesitate to meet up in person.
These are all your memories. Your parents, teachers, and peers are all in them but ultimately, this is your life and from my side I can say that I am happy that you are part of my memories. You have each had an impact on me which I cannot express in words. In the same way, know that you will also impact people and sometimes, never hear about it. We all have some ninja in us.
When I walk down the stage to get my degree next week, I will remember that you are part of the journey that led me to that stage. Thank you, for inviting me, and being the reminder I needed of how amazing my time was with you.
I love you all and hope to see you again, whether it is virtually or on campus! 🙂
Ms Khare
Feature Photo by Jean-Louis Paulin on Unsplash
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