Welcome to the last book excerpt and interview for this year. Today I have author Melissa Connelly, sharing about her debut novel, What Was Lost. Let’s welcome Melissa and learn more.
Get to know the author: Melissa Connelly
Hi Melissa! Welcome to Armed with A Book. Tell me and my readers a bit about yourself!
I am in my sixties, and this is my first published book, although I’ve been writing all my life. I’ve had a long career working with children as a nurse, teacher and psychiatric therapist.
What inspired you to write this book?
While some readers may be shocked by plot; it is a familiar story that happened to many teenage girls I’ve known, and I felt it needs to be told more.
How long did it take you to write this book, from the first idea to the last edit?
Fifteen years! I had a draft of it written within three years and began, a bit haphazardly, shopping for a publisher. This book wouldn’t let me put it aside; I kept revising and revising and if it weren’t in print, I’d probably still be doing so.
What makes your story unique?
My writing style is spare and direct. I lead the reader through all the steps as to how someone falls victim to grooming and sexual abuse and the aftermath it has on their lives. It is sometimes a painful read, but it ends with self-empowerment.
Who would enjoy reading your book?
Survivors of sexual abuse. Anyone who likes a unique coming of age story. Anyone interested in the period of the late sixties, early seventies with all the social upheavals. Women will find much to identify with. LGBTQ individuals can find themselves in my book. Now that we are in a post Roe v Wade world, anyone interested in seeing what America was like before Roe, will find it informative. People interested in family relationships, particularly mothers and daughters. Those who appreciate literary fiction that propels you forward with a twisting plot and clear, concise prose, occasionally heightened by lyrical passages.
Did you bring any of your experiences into this book?
Yes. I set it in the time I grew up in. Some incidents in the book rhyme with experiences from my life, or from people I’ve known. Curiously though, no on has recognized themself in my book.
What’s something you hope readers would take away from it?
I want people to come away with a greater understanding of how individuals fall prey to sexual abuse and how easily it remains secret because of the shame a victim feels. I hope people feel the optimism of understanding change is always possible and we can all keep growing in our lives, even if it’s hard work.
Do you have a favourite quote or scene in the book that you find yourself going back to?
Chapter 15 is one I’m particularly fond of. Carrying her lucky silver dollar, a reminder of her dead father whom she still grieves, Marti hitchhikes in failed effort to seek an out of state abortion. The journey has painful and sad consequences. This chapter is an example of how the writer is just the vessel; I had no idea I was going to write this chapter until it suddenly poured out of me.
The chapter ends with this:
Descending into water, cold as a womb, she’d swim and swim until she knew the answer, and the answer wouldn’t even matter because she herself would be liquid.
She clenched the silver dollar tightly before flinging it with her wrist the way Peter’s father had taught them years ago. It skipped buoyantly across the river before vanishing with a soft, protesting splash. Her eyes fixed on the water until not even a ripple remained to say had ever been.
What is something you have learned on your author journey so far?
It’s a roller coaster, full of twists and turns. The most exciting parts are when the story overtakes you and you find it going to places you didn’t expect. You need to let it happen, and often those are the best parts of the work. And while you might think rewriting is boring, I absolutely love it: moulding a sentence or paragraph endlessly until you finally get it to soar is just the best feeling.
What’s the best piece of advice you have received related to writing?
Don’t rush the important moments; instead lengthen them and let the slowly resonate with the reader. That way, they will keep reverberating.
if you could give a shout out to someone(s) who has helped in your writer journey, please feel free to mention them below!
Linsey Abrahams, my professor at the MFA program at City College of NY. She was brilliant at helping each student take their book where they wanted it to go.
Where can readers find you on the Internet?
My website, Goodreads, Amazon.
What Was Lost
Literary Fiction, 2024
Reminiscent of Hello Beautiful and The Lying Life of Adults, this powerful narrative delves into social changes from 1970 to 2000 and captures a woman’s journey in a pre-#MeToo era via the tale of a mother who returns to her hometown to face the perpetrator of her childhood abuse.
When a young girl feels complicit in her own abuse, how does that thwart her attempts to build a happy life as an adult woman?
When disturbing memories begin to surface, Marti returns to the small Vermont town she ran away from thirty years ago to face her demons. She drags her unwitting teenage daughter along on the journey—heightening already existing tension between mother and daughter. But Marti is determined to achieve what she’s returned home forgiveness for lies told, and revenge for secrets held.
Exploring the vast social changes that took place between 1970 and 2000 and turning a critical eye on times before language such as #MeToo helped give voice to these all-too-common occurrences, What Was Lost is a raw, powerful tale of one woman confronting the ghosts of her past.
Content notes: This book contains some graphic sexual abuse scenes involving a fourteen-year-old. Trigger warnings: Sexual Grooming, Statutory rape, Graphic sexual violence, Underage abortion, PTSD.
Book Excerpt from
What Was Lost
Context: Marti has just had an explosive fight with her teenage daughter Tess. This occurred after Tess lied about where she’d been the previous evening. Lashing out,Tess, revealed some things Rob, her father and Marti’s ex-husband had said about Marti.
She thought of all the young families on the beach and remembered that time in her life: husband, baby, new beginning. Oh, how she grasped at that brass ring! Amazed to think she’d actually caught it.
How could Rob understand? When she met him in grad school, Marti was busy pretending her past never happened—had almost convinced herself—and was elated at finding a seemingly uncomplicated boyfriend. She didn’t really let him in—why wreck her fresh start? The facade they erected together was never very stable; secrets were already cracking the foundation when they plunged into a wedding with all the trimmings, feigning great confidence. The facade crumbled bit by bit until it fell upon them as irrefutably as a house of cards collapses. All that remained was Tess, a child wandering amongst the ruins.
Parenthood was like navigating a minefield. Being cautious didn’t help because the bombs were never where you expected; they were hidden, lying in wait, steadily ticking. Marti felt alone in this minefield, and that loneliness was familiar ground.
She began picking the strewn napkins off the floor, deciding she’d deal with the glass later. She heard a knock and cracked the door open. “May I come in?” Linda asked. Marti shrugged, opened the door fully and gestured for her to enter. Linda spotted the napkins and stooped to pick them up.
“Don’t,” Marti practically hissed, placing her hand on Linda’s arm. She noticed Linda’s gleaming diamond engagement ring soldered with the wedding ring; both were contoured and nested neatly together, obviously purchased as a pair. Perfect. “Would you like some coffee, water, anything?” Her tone swung between a monotone and aggravation.
Linda shook her head. “No, I just wanted to say I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.” She started to sit.
“Don’t sit there,” Marti said, gesturing, “there’s glass.”
“Glass?” Linda looked around. “Oh my, broken! Let me help you. Where’s a broom?”
“Never mind it.” Marti moved to the couch on the other side of the cabin, and Linda reluctantly followed, gaping back at the shards.
“I didn’t know Tess hadn’t told you. Emily tells me you and Tess have some problems . . .” Her voice trailed off as she looked into Marti’s stony face.
Confide in anyone other than me. Just like your father.
Linda laughed nervously before trying again. “Well, all mothers and daughters have problems.”
“Yes, they do,” Marti agreed loudly. “Like you and Emily, I’m so sure. And that sweet little Rose, all in due time.” She knew she was being mean (wasn’t that a wicked witch line?).
“Emily’s mad at me for telling you. But”—Linda smiled with a look of collusion now—“where was Tess? What was she doing last night?”
“I wouldn’t know. Tess’s problem, not mine.”
“Aren’t our children’s problems our problems? After all?”
Later Marti thought about the truth of what Linda said. This was the reason parenthood was so claustrophobic. It was as if your child walked into your life, waved a mirror at you, and plopped down all your dirty laundry into one enormous pile. The pile was so large it covered the doors and windows of your home, allowing no escape. There it was: your weaknesses, your mistakes, every cruel and dishonest thing you’d ever done, every stupid thing. The child was like a dog digging for a bone; they wouldn’t rest until they’d dug it all up, baggage you didn’t even know you had. Ironic, given the impetus for having a child was a chance to leave the past behind and begin anew. A baby dangled a false promise of rebirth.
She thought back to her mother’s will and how she’d bristled upon seeing her name listed as Martha. It was the name she never, ever used after Spencer claimed it, but of course, her mother didn’t know that. Surprisingly, Jan and Marti were left everything equally; Peg didn’t favor the good daughter. She took care to mention mementos she wanted Marti to have. It was loving and selfless given all the ways she’d hurt Peg—the mother Marti never gave herself the chance to truly know. She understood now why Peg hadn’t fully forgiven her. How could she? She blamed herself for Marti’s problems, and Marti abandoned her mother by not trusting her with the truth. Peg was dead, so there would be no release for either of them.
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