The 5 Love Languages – After Thoughts

On this installment of After Thoughts, I revisit the book, The 5 Love Languages. Here is what called this book back to me, what I was curious about and what I discovered.

My husband gifted me The 5 Love Languages of Children on Christmas. I have been thinking about picking it up. This weekend, while journaling, I wondered about my daughter and what her love language will be.

This made me remember that some years ago I had read The 5 Love Languages—the grown-up one. That’s where the children’s version arrived on my TBR in the first place. So I went looking for my old review, curious: who did I think I was back in 2024?

Here is a recap from my review about what each love language is:

• Words of affirmation – this includes compliments.
• Quality time – this includes spending time together whether doing something or just hanging out.
• Acts of service – this includes general upkeep around the house and picking up the others’ tasks when they are tired.
• Gifting – this includes surprising the loved one with gifts and little trinkets.
• Physical touch – this includes holding hands and touching in public and private settings.

My review said I had identified my love languages to be quality time and physical touch.

Rereading the love languages now, almost exactly two years later, though, I felt something new tug at me.

Acts of service.

I’ve changed.

Or maybe there are just a lot more tasks now with a new family member toddling around in the house. 😀

My husband was laughing just earlier in the day, saying I didn’t even used to cook dinner. He cooked most of the meat—especially chicken. I made rice. I was not confident about pasta at all. Back then, I chose recipes. I made the menu a few days at a time. I challenged the assigned dinner idea based on my mood. I would often say to him, “I had planned for dinner to be X but I don’t feel like it now. How about Y or Z?”

That was such a different life.

Fast forward to the present, I am completely in charge of dinner. My meal planning and grocery shopping system is actually impressive—still growing, still turning into a well-oiled machine but leaps and bonds from what it used to be. When I designed it, I knew sticking to it was going to be hard work as I would actively be breaking my old patterns of redoing my plan.

Maybe my love language didn’t change.

Maybe it expanded.

Quality time still matters. Touch still matters.

But now, love also looks like:

– planning
– prepping
– feeding
– remembering what everyone needs

Love looks like doing and no wonder I associate with acts of service in this season of motherhood.

Maybe one day, when I finally read that children’s version, I’ll be looking not just for my daughter’s love language—but for the one she already speaks without realizing it.

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Have you read The 5 Love Languages or any other books by Gary Chapman?

Stay tuned for my thoughts on The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively. The covers below will take you to the respective Goodreads pages.

Thanks for reading!