Hello friend! Today I am chatting with author, Kim Idynne, about her fiction novel, Kill the Messenger. Let’s meet her and learn more about the book. You will also find a book excerpt after the interview.
Get to know the author: Kim
Welcome to Armed with A Book, Kim! Tell me and my readers a bit about yourself!
I’ve loved reading and storytelling since I was a little kid. I got my first piece of writing published in the town newspaper when I was in second grade, and moved on to journalism and fiction writing as an adult. I’m also an artist and have published my artwork in We’Moon and other books and literary journals, and at art shows around the Twin Cities. I started publishing fiction when my short story “Meat” appeared in Literary Mama in 2015; my next short story, “Fungus,” was originally published in Quantum Fairy Tales and went on to win a Silver Pen award. After being told by multiple literary agents that my novel A Grand Exposition lacked commercial appeal because of its ending, I decided to self-publish. I’m still not sure it was the right decision, but I was dead set against changing the ending to a “happy” ending for numerous reasons—one being that A Grand Exposition is supposedly based on true events (as reported in the 1975 Reader’s Digest print Strange Stories, Amazing Facts). I’ve lived in Minnesota for most of my life and love traveling, teaching, spending time with my friends and their kids, and writing stories and music.
What inspired you to write this book?
The book is partly inspired by stories I’ve watched/read about con artists who pose as other people. Around the time I started writing the novel, I watched the Korean film Addicted, about a man who pretends to be his brother so that he can marry his brother’s wife. I thought, “Wouldn’t the guilt be too much to bear? How could he lie like that to someone he claimed to genuinely love?” I was also partly inspired by things I see on a fairly regular basis, like people having trouble identifying what it is that they’re actually afraid of or angry about, and finding an easy target to take their frustrations out on.
How long did it take you to write this book, from the first idea to the last edit?
I worked on the novel off and on for a little over a year; I had to put it down for several months when I was hired as a Language Arts teacher. As a first-year teacher, I had to devote all my time to curriculum writing/reviewing, navigating the school, and regular teaching duties for 150+ high school students. Kill the Messenger is one of my shorter novels, so I was able to finish it after the school year ended.
What makes your story unique?
One of the things that makes the story unique is that the “happy ending” is more about learning how to cope with grief and tragedy than it is about the characters getting what they want. Jacob is doing his best to live a good life, but he doesn’t get his happy ending. Neither does Sue, but toward the end of the story, she says that because of the changes she has been forced to endure, she is generally a happier person and likes herself better; she has the tools to make a good life. Marco has also suffered devastating losses, but his story ends on a promising note.
Who would enjoy reading your book?
There is plenty of humor in the book as well as heart-wrenching and painful scenes. So, if you appreciate humor as well as depth, and if you’re a reader who wants to explore how other people deal with complicated and pressing issues, then you may enjoy this book. However, this novel doesn’t have a typical “story-book ending.” If you like to end a book with the sense that the protagonists got what they wanted and everything is right with the world, then you may not like this one.
What’s something you hope readers would take away from it?
I think sympathy and the importance of speaking up for others are two of the main ideas I want readers to take away from this story. On the subject of sympathy: Some of the characters in Kill the Messenger are deeply flawed, and they commit some pretty extreme but ultimately forgivable acts. Marco does some pretty awful things, but people know that he isn’t a malicious person, and they make an effort to understand him. Another issue I write about in the book is how people in the community deal with workplace harassment and racism. People are often afraid to speak up about abuse that takes place in their communities because they’re afraid of the repercussions. That’s something Jacob addresses in the story. He knows that there are repercussions, but he says that he has to speak up anyway—not just because of his disinhibition, but because he’s obligated as a human being and a member of a community. Minnesota has one of the largest race-based income/opportunity gaps in the country, and addressing the root problem is something I’ve seen people struggle with. The situations I bring up in the story (the job application, the potential neighbor, the debates about Confederate flag shirts) are based on real interactions.
Do you have a favourite quote or scene in the book that you find yourself going back to?
One of the scenes that I often think of is when Jacob talks about his loss of guilt:
“People say that guilt is a useless emotion because you can’t go back and change what happened, but I think it has a use. It hurts you enough that it keeps you from making the same mistake again. I lost that, so I keep making the same mistake.”
I worked in disability services for most of my life and know people who have sustained various types of brain injuries, or who are just “wired” differently than most, and this concept has come up from time to time. I personally struggle with guilt in the opposite way: feeling too much of it over little things.
Kill the Messenger
Marco Russo embarks on a new relationship with his twin brother, Jacob, after a near-fatal accident leaves Jacob with verbal disinhibition: an inability to assess his thoughts before speaking them aloud. His remarks often spark anger in the people around him and cause endless embarrassment for Marco, who has taken on the role of Jacob’s guardian and coach—a role that is further complicated when one of his co-workers falls head over heels for Jacob. With Jacob’s latest job seeming to be a good fit for him, and with new relationships budding, the future seems to hold a hope for happiness—but that hope is shaken when one of Jacob’s thoughtless disclosures leads to a series of shocking events.
Content notes: The book describes an overdose/suicide attempt in one of the later chapters.
Book Excerpt from
Kill the Messenger
From Chapter 6
Marco was glad of the reprieve from the scene in the kitchen. He went into the hall and opened the linen closet, peering at the array of dry goods that Jacob had stacked along the left side. The store of food had grown along with Jacob’s interest in cooking; the sheets, towels, and blankets were stuffed into what was left of the space, bulging against the shelves. Marco muttered to himself as he rearranged cans and boxes. He spotted a jar of salsa, and as he scoured the stacks for a can of beans, he became aware of Jacob’s voice drifting from the kitchen: “ . . . horrible chest pains and trouble breathing, so he called an ambulance, and when he got to the hospital they did all kinds of scans to figure out what was wrong—and then the nurse came back and said ‘When was the last time you went to the bathroom?’ It turned out he had fecal impaction. His bowels were so packed that his body was going into shock, or something.”
With horror, Marco realized what he was talking about.
“He ended up having to have an enema, and they kept him overnight for observation,” Jacob added—and then Marco stormed into the kitchen, shouting “JACOB!”
Jacob turned to look at him, his eyes registering genuine surprise. He stood with the spatula hovering over the pan. “What?”
Sue was bent over at the table, unsuccessfully trying to hide her laughter by covering her face with her hands.
Marco pointed an accusatory finger at his brother. “I told you never to tell anyone that story!”
“Well, I just happened to be talking about that day,” Jacob said. “It’s not even a big deal. These things happen.” He turned around to face Sue, who was now slumped forward with her forehead on the table, still shaking with laughter. “I’ve had embarrassing things happen too,” Jacob continued. “Once I had to go to the doctor because I had a hemorrhoid, and it was such a bad hemorrhoid that I ended up having to have surgery on it. That surgery cost me hundreds of dollars. Even after the insurance, I had to pay nearly eight hundred dollars for that stupid hemorrhoid.” He turned back to the stove, stirring half-cooked eggs in the pan and singing to himself in a low voice: “Love, it’s a beautiful thing; Love can cure anything . . . .”
When the meal was ready, Jacob graciously set the table and served everyone. The kitchen table was small and square, shoved up against the front wall by the window; Jacob and Sue always sat across from each other, where they could smile and gaze into each other’s eyes, while Marco was always seated at the outer edge like a detached observer. The dog, too, sat on the outskirts, settling down behind Marco’s chair.
Marco was keenly aware of his own jealousy. He was not just jealous, but fascinated by this window into Sue’s mind, by the fact that she and Jacob could speak so freely to each other. Marco hadn’t had the same experience in his own relationships. With Chelsea, he was often anxious about saying something that might frighten her off. Now, watching the exchanges between Sue and Jacob, and seeing the delight and affection in Sue’s eyes, he realized that Chelsea hadn’t looked at him that way. Maybe she had in the beginning—a beginning so long ago that he no longer remembered it. She had always seemed guarded, preoccupied, as though she was looking into her own thoughts and motives while Marco gazed at her. If she had ever been generous with her affection, it must have faded quickly. Perhaps Sue’s glowing approval would fade just as fast.
Jacob excused himself to the restroom, leaving Marco in a sudden state of unease. He tried to ward off an awkward silence with the first question that came into his mind: “How are things with Jacob? He hasn’t gotten you into any trouble, has he?”
Sue gave him a genuinely baffled look. “What kind of trouble?”
“Oh, you know. The kind that results from his big mouth.”
“No, nothing like that has happened. Not when I’ve been with him, anyway.”
“He got into some trouble at work a few days ago. A customer came in who Jacob recognized, and apparently she has a criminal background and . . . other issues, and Jacob started giving her advice about her problems—out loud, in front of the other customers.”
“Shit.”
“He knew her from when he worked at Mermaid Car Wash. She was there on prison work release. And now she works at the place next-door to the café, and I guess they found out about Jacob’s comments and started looking into her. Her dad came in later and tore Jacob a new one. Didn’t hit him, but yelled at him about how tough his daughter’s life has been, and how she’s trying to start over, and how people like Jacob make it impossible for her because they keep dredging up her past.”
“Well, shit. That was pretty lame on Jacob’s part.”
“Yeah. I tell him that, but . . . .”
Sue nodded. “Right. It doesn’t give him a filter, does it?”
They sat in silence for a moment. Marco poured the rest of his beer into a glass and waited for the fizz to dissipate.
“Don’t tell anyone that story,” he said suddenly. “Not that one, but the one Jacob talked about earlier.”
“What?”
“The story about my hospital visit. It didn’t happen like that, anyway. Jacob exaggerates.”
She scoffed. “No, he doesn’t. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about your emergency enema.” A small, sly grin spread across her lips.
“It’s not funny.”
“I don’t think that’s very unusual. Do you know how many people have rushed to the ER thinking they were having a heart attack, and it turned out to be gas?”
“Let’s change the subject.”
Sue set her glass down and leaned back in her chair. “All right. What do you want to talk about?”
He blurted: “I wasn’t taking care of myself when that happened. It turned out I was severely dehydrated. I was . . . it was after I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said ’Sure, but let’s plan it next year,’ and then she went off and bought a new home. For herself. Without telling me.”
“Ah. Lovely.”
“So, I was a little depressed.”
“Aren’t you still?”
Marco didn’t answer, wouldn’t meet her gaze.
“You’ve been drinking a lot,” Sue said. “When I first worked with you, you hardly drank at all. I remember you saying you only drank once or twice a month.”
He shrugged.
“Is it still because of Chelsea? You don’t have to answer me, but . . . I drank a lot, too, after things went bad with Junsu.” Sue was quiet for some time, but Marco didn’t respond. He kept staring at his beer glass. “You should break up with her. Even if it’s not my business, you really should. You remember when Jacob said that you’re a good guy and you deserve better . . . .”
“Am I a good guy?”
“You seem to be. I think you are. We don’t talk much, but I trust you more than the other people we work with.” She gazed at Marco until the scrutiny made him uneasy; he fidgeted in his seat. “I think that our work environment maybe isn’t the healthiest, and I haven’t done much to change it,” she continued. “When someone else talks shit, I laugh and talk shit too. I used to, anyway. If there was a problem, I would bitch about it instead of trying to fix it. What do you think of our team? Honestly.”
“Honestly?” Marco rubbed his thumb against the glass, making circles around the rim. “Honestly, there isn’t much to say. I don’t particularly like the people there, so I don’t smile and laugh with them. I don’t even like my job. I just go there to make ends meet and pass the time. I’m there to earn a paycheck so I can keep a roof over my head and my brother’s head—even if it’s a shoddy roof like this one.”
Jacob came back then, noisy and smiling. “Are we walking the dog?” he asked. “Where do you want to go? We can take her to the nature center. There’s a dog park right next to it if you want to let her run around. Just let me clean up first.”
His chatter filled the kitchen for a few more minutes, and then Marco was alone in the house, listening to its heavy silence. He downed the rest of his beer and grabbed another bottle from the fridge.
Interested?
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