If you are a fan of Brene Brown, you will love this book! In three hours of listening time, K. C. Davis shares wisdom about the tasks that we all have to do as we move out of our parents’ home and have our own independent space. Whether we share it with a partner and kids or not, it does not matter. The tasks still remain. Take a look for yourself at what How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing is about and then read on for my thoughts.
How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing
By K.C. Davis | Goodreads
How to Keep House While Drowning will introduce you to six life-changing principles that will revolutionize the way you approach home care—without endless to-do lists. Presented in 31 daily thoughts, this compassionate guide will help you begin to get free of the shame and anxiety you feel over home care.
Inside you will learn:
- How to shift your perspective of care tasks from moral to functional
- How to stop negative self-talk and shame around care tasks
- How to give yourself permission to rest, even when things aren’t finished
- How to motivate yourself to care for your space
So many reasons why I loved How to Keep House While Drowning!
How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing is the go-to adulting guide. It confronts the societal expectations we grow up with – having a clean house, keeping ourselves clean and hygienic, and digs into how to make those possible. Did you ever have an honest conversation with your parents when you were moving out on how to maintain your independent space? I did not. I got what I must do, not how to do it. Of course, years of observation gave me a head start and I had things to try out but eventually, overtime, the way I do things is not how I saw them done growing up. One major difference is Canada and India have completely different weather and home appliances but that’s ok. Some things are still the same.
I read How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing over the course of an evening. I love the format of this book! K. C. is neurodivergent and has ADHD. Hence, this book is organized in bite-sized ideas with an in-built guide on how to read an abridged version by skipping some chapters. Each chapter is short and sweet with a main point bullet. For metaphors used in the book, she provides a literal example as well.
I was probably looking for housekeeping books when I came across this one. What I appreciate most about it is that it is particularly for the times when we are drowning, experiencing grief and hard situations. When we don’t want to function and it is just too hard to get up and put the dishes away. When we judge ourselves and think others will judge us too for not being put together.
Language
With How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing, the work to disengage ourselves from the judgement around house duties begins. The first takeaway: these tasks are amoral in nature. Doing them, not doing them, doing them however we want is just what it is. There is nothing bad about that.
We grow up with ideas that a clean home is a good home and by striving to have a clean home, we are being good, that leap is about worthiness and not care. We should care for our homes because we want, not because we have to.
K. C. digs into the functional reasons why care tasks exist and she offers advice on how to get unstuck, even when we feel terrible about dumping clothes in the trash rather than donating them, when we just don’t have the energy and that pile is making us feel worse.
The way I feel about something affects how I think about it. The opposite is also true. Two of my favorite non-fiction that deserve an annual reread, Soundtracks and The Gifts of Imperfection shed light on the power of thoughts. Language is part of thoughts and K.C. offers some alternative neutral ways of thinking about chores, cleaning and mess.
Chores -> care tasks
Cleaning -> resetting the space
Messy -> approaching end of functional cycle
One of her mantras is ‘good enough is perfect’. It’s another one of those gems that Brene Brown is an advocate for.
The Doing
K.C. asks us what the functional reason to do a house task is. To really dig into why we do a task and what doing it does for us, beyond meeting societal standards. Then she goes on to share her secrets on keeping the house clean. We both love baskets and I agree with her that they add so much to the room while tidying the room. She offers gentle reminders that not everything has to be (or can be) clean at the same time. For the times we are mentally drained, getting started on a care tasks is even harder. Some of her suggestions were:
- Move with music
- Give myself permission to start the task
- Do some part of the task – I don’t have to complete it if I don’t feel like it yet
- Use a visual timer – this technique I use all the time in non-house areas and it really gets things done. Often, when I am procrastinating about a review, I will get a 25 min timer and write what I can. Usually, as the timer approaches the end, I add more time because I am truly in the flow of writing.
I got lots of amazing tips from this book! I confronted the shame around certain house chores and also learned about resting. K.C.’s mission is to help the reader remove judgement from care tasks and to choose kindness for ourselves.
I loved the format of this book. Though it was written with other people in mind, it was very helpful and easy to follow along with the ideas. I was reminded of an article I wrote when I was studying education, ‘Making learning meaningful and accessible’.
Thanks for making it to the end of this review! If you want a new outlook on household chores, give How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing a read. It won’t take long and I promise, you will come out feeling empowered and seen. I adored it!
Add it to your Goodreads shelf and let me know if you plan to read this or have already!
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