Welcome friend! Once I read Getting Unstuck, it became a book I return to for inspiration, particularly in times when I feel my practice needs a gentle reminder. The recording is live from Pema Chödrön’s talk to an audience that serves as a guiding light, offering profound wisdom and practical teachings rooted in Tibetan Buddhism. Check out what the book is about and then dive into my notes about each of the sessions and a main takeaway.
Pema Chödrön | Goodreads
Have you ever had an itch and not scratched it? In the Buddhist tradition, this points to a vast that by refraining from our urge to scratch, great peace and happiness is available.
On Getting Unstuck , Pema Chödrön introduces a rare Tibetan teaching she received from her teacher, Dzigar Kontrul Rinpoche, and one that has become critical to her practice. Here, she unveils the mystery of an ineffable pre-emotional feeling that arises in us, brings us discomfort, and causes us to react by escaping the discomfort often with harmful habits.
With Getting Unstuck , she offers us a first look at both the itch and the scratch, which Tibetan Buddhists call shenpa. On this full-length recording, Pema Chödrön, bestselling author and beloved American Buddhist nun, shows us how to recognize shenpa, catch it as it appears, and develop a playful, lively curiosity toward it. Join Pema Chödrön to discover more
Critical mind―how to recognize this fundamental shenpa, and approach yourself and others with a sense of humor and loving-kindness
- Ways to unravel the patterns of self-denigration, and develop the fundamental maitri ―loving-kindness―toward yourself
- How to cultivate acceptance of your irritability, insecurities, and other simply human traits
- Recognition, Refrain, Relaxing, and the four R’s of working with shenpa, and more
An urge comes up, we succumb to it, and it becomes stronger, teaches Pema Chödrön. We reinforce our cravings, habits, and addictions by giving in to them repeatedly. On Getting Unstuck , Chödrön guides us through this sticky feeling, exploring the moments when we get hooked, and offers us tools for learning to stay with our uneasiness, soften our hearts toward ourselves and others, and live a more peaceful life in the fullness of the present moment.
Getting Unstuck: Breaking Your Habitual Patterns & Encountering Naked Reality – Review
From learning to observe the mind with curiosity and compassion to navigating the intricacies of habituation and shenpa, Chödrön’s teachings illuminate the path to inner freedom and resilience.
Learning to Stay
Our mind wanders. We obsess over all sorts of things. We escape reality in one of three ways – we either numb ourselves or sink into pleasure and cravings or we obsess and engage in anger, self-hatred, etc. In the first part of the Getting Unstuck, Pema encourages the listener to think of this tendency to escape as an itch, making it analogous to a physical itch. The practice of learning to stay is to observe the mind with curiosity and compassion. To watch the places the mind wanders but not judge what is happening. This is a commitment to do something for ourselves. To be present without judgment. Through the simple exercise of listening to the sound of a gong, Pema reminds the listener that they are capable of paying attention.
The Habit of Distraction
In the second session, Pema explores habituation and the ways in which we strengthen our habits and thought patterns that we don’t want to grow but continue to engage in. We twist things and make ourselves feel worse for the patterns we are stuck in. She introduces the concept of shenpa, describing it as an urge, a hook, a tightening. It’s something we can notice in other people but find hard to see in ourselves.
I loved this session. It made me think about the ways in which I reach for short term symptom relief though I don’t exactly know what the true problem is. The work to change what I label as “bad” to “what it is” is a journey. It will take practice to recognize I am hooked. Pema offers the four r – recognize, refrain, relax and resolve. She invites us to call upon our inner wisdom guide and work through our unease.
Meditation – The path to Enlightenment
Meditation is a practice to return to the breath, to exercise compassionate clear seeing and being kind to ourselves. Pema explores how the breath acts as an anchor to reality. She says it is natural for the mind to get hooked and lose itself. Eventually with our efforts, we can bring it back. Strong emotions like anger, fear and jealousy particularly take it away. When we return to the breath, we want to stay with the underlying feeling but remove the storyline. Using the breath is a willingness to stay. She took questions from the audience in this session and repeatedly pointed out that the key is to stop right/wrong thinking. She says to enjoy life and refrain when we think something is becoming a problem.
Enjoying the Process
This talk is about self-reflection and how it’s a practice that makes us stay with loving kindness. Pema reminds the listener that everyone has shenpa and we all get hooked. Shenpa blinds us to the enjoyment of life. When we notice it in ourselves, we are also able to extend that to other people. We practice loving kindness, compassion and humility. I liked the stories of the Dalai Lama and other people in this session. There are suggestions for morning and bedtime affirmations. Acknowledging how the day went, seeing the glory and wretchedness of it are the way to cherish life.
Next time I find myself stuck, I can teach myself the dharma. I can ask myself what will be the result of this habituation. Self reflection can be painful but it is worth it. It is born out of our innate wisdom. Learning to stay and live with a tender heart enriched the short life we have.
Tools for Liberation
In the fifth session of this series, Pema continues to talk about shenpa and how it revolutionized her practice. She explains how therapy and meditation address two different aspects of suffering. The latter is about the content while the former takes us to the root of the feelings. The practice is to learn to stay, to see and be gentle with oneself. When we struggle with the present moment, we can change the narrative by thinking of it as something we invited in. The wisdom is already within us. Meditation helps uncover it.
Pema shares the tools for the practice. There are absolute teachings – things we know to be true that we can turn to anytime. An example is thinking of thoughts as clouds in the sky. In the relative practice, there are various forms of meditation like sitting and walking meditation. When we recognize we are stuck, we teach ourselves the dharma, whatever that looks like for us. We can ask ourselves if this would be an issue in a year, 5 years or on our deathbed. Pema also touched upon the concept of reincarnation in Buddhism.
Taking the Practice into the World
In this final session, Pema talks about working with shenpa and our thoughts during meditation and in everyday life. We all have prejudice and prejudice has shenpa. Pema gives a poignant analysis of the movie, A Beautiful Mind, sharing its story through the lens of meditation. The practice of prajana, seeing from a distance, in relationship to shenpa is also explored. I really liked the connection between boundaries and prajana that came up through the questions from the audience.
A Summary of my Takeaways from Getting Unstuck
- Learning to observe the mind without judgment and cultivating mindfulness involves recognizing habitual patterns and reactions without becoming entangled in them.
- Compassion and loving-kindness, both towards oneself and others, involves being gentle with oneself, practicing empathy, and extending kindness to others.
- Understanding and recognizing shenpa, the concept of getting hooked or triggered, is the awareness that allows for greater insight into one’s behavior and thought patterns.
- Meditation is a tool for returning to the present moment, calming the mind, and gaining clarity appears to be emphasized. This involves returning to the breath, observing emotions without attachment to the storyline, and developing a regular meditation practice.
- Self-reflection, acknowledging one’s patterns and reactions, and being open to growth and change involves facing discomfort, questioning one’s habits, and seeking inner wisdom.
- Integrating mindfulness and compassion practices into daily life, including challenging situations and interactions involves applying these teachings beyond formal meditation sessions and incorporating them into various aspects of life.
These notes serve as a testament to the profound wisdom of Getting Unstuck and the power of mindfulness and compassion in navigating life’s challenges. I may have compiled solid notes about each of the sessions here but the experience of listening to Pema is irreplaceable. If you enjoyed this post, please give Getting Unstuck a listen. It is available on Audible and your local library might carry it. See if you can catch the bird in the background. 😉 Add it on Goodreads.
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