I shared my thoughts on Shock Value : a Cam Girl’s Sexy and Hilarious Stories of Capitalizing on Sexual Desire by Eliza Wilde. Like I mentioned there, if you like getting your perceptions challenged, Shock Value is a book for you! As promised, I have here today as we discuss the myths around sex work and her book. Apart from being a web cam model, Eliza is also a legal investigator, an Air Force veteran, and an artist. She is fascinated by psychology, sexology, and human sexuality, and she wanted to share wit the world her insights about and interactions with her clients.
It was wonderful to connect with her! Enjoy the interview, and get some insights about the book, without any spoilers! 🙂
Click on the graphic below to read my review.
- For our readers who have not read the book or might not know about web caming, what does a web cam model do?
What a cam model does is stream live from a webcam website (aka a platform) straight from a studio or from their home. It is live chat that has the option to take a model to a private show in that the customer will pay. Some webcam websites have “free chat” or “open chat” which means the customer is not paying anything, but can chat and view the model and multiple people can be in a webcam model’s open chat at any time.
Usually in open chat, the customers ask the webcam model questions or to just check them out. Each webcam website has various rules as to what models can and can’t do in open chat. Most customers come to a webcam site to fulfill some sort of sexual desire, whether it be as simple as a strip tease. Others have particular roleplays or fetishes they want to act out. And some, believe it or not simply come in to chat with no expectations of anything sexual to happen.
- What was some surprising things you have learned in the course of your work?
I had to research a lot of sexual phrases, terminology and fetishes. I’ve also been surprised with all the various kinds of fetishes out there and the things people do to get themselves off. I felt very vanilla when I got into this business, but with any job, there is always a learning curve. I’ve also learned that men will manipulate you into doing things you may not want to do, in fact some beg.
My best advice for that is STAND YOUR GROUND! YOU have the power in the chatroom, not the man. If he wants something you’re not comfortable doing, trust me, he WILL find a cam model to do whatever it is he wants. Doing something you’re not into or comfortable doing is not worth that 2 bucks you’ll make from a quick show.
- What ways could sex education help improve people’s understanding and perceptions of sexuality?
I think sex education should teach and inform people on all kinds of human sexuality, whether it be gay, straight, bi, transgender etc. With sexuality, ignorance is NOT bliss in my opinion. Sadly, our country is still in the puritan days. In Amsterdam, they have one of the lowest STD rates in the world because they start educating their children about sex in grade school, about 8 or 9 years old. Not all people have sex with a spouse, with the lights off every Friday at 8 pm under the covers.
Our society is very judgmental and anything outside the “norm” is considered wrong or taboo. We should be a little more open-minded and start educating our children at a younger age.
- What are some things that the public should know about sex work (other than the stigmatized assumptions)?
Sex work IS REAL WORK! Sex workers have to be girlfriends, dominatrix’s, submissive’s, the girl next door, and shrinks. For some customers, we are more therapeutic, rather than a sex object men just want to jerk their cocks to. I have had numerous men, countless times thank me over and over again for just chatting with them. They vent about their significant others, or about their jobs. Some are very isolated and lonely based on where they live so they don’t have any sort of companionship.
Sex workers are not trashy, not ignorant, and not dirty. Many are successful business people. Many, such as myself, have college degrees and have lived amazing lives. Many have full-time day jobs and do sex work as a way to supplement their income.
Let’s face it, with the cost of living nowadays, a lot of people have a side hustle to survive. We are not broken, nor do we all have “daddy/mommy issues”. We are all human, just providing a different kind of service.
- I know the book was not erotica but there are lots of prejudices about that genre too. Are there any myths that you have come across about erotica as a genre you’d like to debunk?
The thing about writing erotica, or writing anything about sex for that matter, is that the author MUST be a sexual deviant right? (huge eye roll). Some people may consider erotica writing as “smut” but what they fail to realize that a lot of good erotica is very sensual, not trashy. Erotica writers know how to use words to awaken your sexual energy and get you thinking.
Additionally, I believe some people think erotica is all about BDSM like 50 Shades of Grey, when in actuality, erotica is simply steamy and can be filled with romance and love as well. It isn’t for bored housewives either. When I read the 50 Shades trilogy, I was married and worked a full-time job. In all honestly, I was curious as to what all the hype was about. Personally, I was not a fan of the trilogy, but to each their own.
I think erotica can open up people’s sexual awakenings, to get them to explore more of their sexuality. It is our right to have sex, why not make it a little more interesting and fun?
Hope you enjoyed this interview with Eliza and learned about sex work. Check out her book next. You can find her on instagram.
** Shock Value: a Cam Girl’s Sexy and Hilarious Stories of Capitalizing on Sexual Desire is now out in stores so get a copy and let me know what you think! **
Amazon Print
Amazon Kindle
Cover image: Photo by Karan Nagpal on Unsplash
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