Creating While Caring

Welcome, friend. This post is about reading, writing, and the quiet ways creativity changes when caregiving enters the picture. It marks the presence of a new season that has already been underway on the blog. It’s about what I feared I would lose when I became a mother — and what I’ve slowly learned I haven’t. This is the first piece in Creating While Caring, a series of reflections on making space for creativity in seasons shaped by care. I am honoured to have you with me today.

The Question

I had many fears around motherhood and most of them were rooted in loss of identity – would I still be a reader, a writer, a blogger? I tried to tell myself that I probably won’t have as much time as I did before I became a parent but I’m sure I’ll still do all those things. 

I didn’t believe myself. 

I haven’t gone through it yet and though generally, I am a hopeful person, when it comes to my personal endeavours, I’m far less generous with myself.

Motherhood had a rocky start for my hobbies but looking back, amongst the books I read in those early months, there were small lampposts that lit the way to where I am now. I was able to return to my hobbies briefly but all I found in my old ways of writing and reading were frustration. I could not be present with my daughter and also do what I wanted to do. 

I eventually learnt that my perspective had to change. She mattered too much to me. I could not create with her beside me. I had to be patient. That time would come.

I have a subscription to Lovevery for her and these words by the cofounder and CEO, Jessica, resonated with me: “The key to cutting down on frustration is to redefine what it means to ‘get things done’. The thing you’re ‘getting done’ right now with your toddler is simply supporting their learning. It’s a long game.”

My creative life is a long game. 

I hadn’t realized this until I read Jessica’s words though I had already been living it. My initial idea for the Creating While Caring series was rooted in creating in a season where caregiving is a major, if not the main, part of life.

I knew the answer lay in figuring out how I had been changed. How has caring for my daughter changed the way I read, write, and share?

The Answer

My daughter has made me more aware of time. How it is slow and fast. It is slow because I’m present and intentional in where I spend time, especially when I’m with her. By staying in the moment, I stretch it out. It’s fast because I don’t get as much time as I used to for myself. 

She has shown me how I can return to books without urgency.

In this season of my life, I’m creating while caring.

I’m living intentionally. I’m blogging intentionally. I’m reading slowly. I welcome the moments when I find myself writing thoughts about books or jotting down ideas. I’m no longer wanting more time for those things I love. It’s enough – this time that I have. It’s freeing. All I want to do is return and I do. 

I was rereading my review of The Ritual Effect (not yet live) and found this sentence impactful: “Reading itself is a ritual for me — one that predates parenthood and one I am learning to protect again as my days fill with work and caregiving.” The blog came to be when I was already working full time but in the six years since, I have never written about work. I am writing about creating in the midst of caregiving. I see this as a shift from book blogging into lifestyle blogging. Reading and writing are my lifestyles and by sharing reflections that go beyond individual book reviews, I am more than a book blogger.

My daughter is the reason I read differently. I reach for books about bringing up children, identities like daughters, and rituals in everyday life. I write as a witness to her growth, her character, her life, as it mingles with mine and my choices. 

I return because of her

A few weeks after my daughter’s first birthday, her interest in books exploded. She would notice my books lying around the couch and reach for them. She would listen over and over to nursery rhymes books that her grandma showered her with. In her room, she would go to her bookshelf and pick out the same 2-4 titles to read together: I Love You All the Time (always the first), Cats First Baby (from the cat on the page to the cat roaming her room) to name the top two. And then there were nights when she would be too tired after a full day of daycare and she would reach for her bed and no books. 

I see the way she reads. Authentically reaching for the same books that she loves while also sometimes taking a chance on something new. It is lovely to see her embrace reading in her life in her unique way. Though I always wish for her to love books, I never enforce a bedtime-with-books routine. I believe in giving her the option of things she can do and letting her take the lead.

As you have probably noticed, I write about her. She is an integral part of my creative life: as a writer, reader and parent. She has given me permission to read and write as I see fit in this season. I have reached for books I have loved before. The thought of “how many more sittings before I finish this book” belongs to a life before she arrived – and I haven’t missed it.

In January, I started a new tradition: everyday, whether I read a book or not, I would write down one bookish thought of the day. I am enjoying seeing the variety of ways in which books, reading and writing show up in my day to day. That is enough. My hobby, this way of living, is thriving in this life of mine when I am caring for a little one. 

Conclusion

Listening to a meditation by Sarah Blondin, I was reminded that nature begins to change long before one season becomes another. I often think about spring — how slowly it arrives here in Canada, how quietly things shift beneath the surface, until one day everything is in bloom and it’s suddenly summer. 

This new season on the blog is like that. It’s been in the making for months. January may have been the first visible sign, but the rhythm was already forming. I let go of old schedules and showed up when I could, with ease. Maybe as the reader, you noticed some changes. Maybe you did not. And now, perhaps, you can feel that the new season on Armed with a Book has arrived. 

Thanks again for being here.