Hi everyone! Today I am hosting author Aella Ray to share about herself and her book, Be A Good Girl, a story about a girl with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Get to know the author: Aella
Welcome to Armed with A Book, Aella, first of many appearances! Tell me and my readers a bit about yourself!
A simple woman with a complicated mind I’ve spent a lifetime trying to understand. I’ve found that writing is a way to help put all my thoughts and feelings into words that I can share with others who might feel like me.
What inspired you to write this book?
It started off as a therapeutic way to process experiences and emotions, but slowly became a way for me to express and explain how it feels to live and think with mental illness that might help others understand it better.
How long did it take you to write this book, from the first idea to the last edit?
About a year and a half.
Who would enjoy reading your book?
Anyone longing for understanding. And anyone in the mental health community.
What’s something you hope readers would take away from it?
That they are not alone in what they feel.
Do you have a favourite quote or scene in the book that you find yourself going back to?
“No amount of darkness can take away this moment. The more happy I put in my life the less room there is for that darkness. Sure some stuff might have happened but one day I’ll forget it.” Looking back in his mirror, he spoke to the winding road. “Just like one day I’ll forget this moment. Every time I remember it, it’ll dilute that memory a little more. What’ll stay is the feeling. Ya know? The only real moment we have is this one, so why wouldn’t I want it to be carefree and full of laughter?”
Chapter 4, Be A Good Girl
Be A Good Girl
Marionette Jackson has Borderline Personality Disorder. She just doesn’t know it yet.
Marionette clings to her secret in order to survive the unforgiving world of loss, drugs and manipulation. Between handsome stalkers and her unbelievably perfect twin sister, she’ll do whatever it takes to be strong. Drawn to her dark teacher with ties to her past and desperate to escape the cruelty of her mother, can Marionette find stable ground to create a meaningful life for herself in? Can she discover who she is meant to be underneath all the parts she plays for everyone else? Will she ever get out of herself alive?
In the first book of its kind, Aella Ray’s debut series is exactly what the world of mental health needs. Be A Good Girl, and it’s companion book, Yes Daddy, illustrate the mind behind this misunderstood disorder and provide a trailblazing perspective that could change the world of mental health as we know it.
Content Notes: Self-Harm
Book Excerpt from
Be A Good Girl
From Chapter 3:
Weeks passed.
As the weather got colder, my heart got warmer. Every day was the same. Wake up. School. Try to connect with Mr. McPeters. Drive with the nameless man. Cherish the blade. Sleep.
Even though he won’t tell me his name, it’s nice to have a friend.
I smiled to myself as the morning bell rang much too loud to give the incoming waves of groggy students their first warning to get to class.
Camped out in the bathroom next to Mr. McPeters’ classroom, I turned off my music and mentally prepared myself to socialize. After the final warning bell, I got up and smoothed out my dress. I flushed the empty toilet and washed my already clean hands, just in case someone else was there. Not that it mattered. Everyone already thought I was a loner freak anyway.
All they do is talk about shoes. Or celebrities. Or each other. Their lives must feel so light on their shoulders. Their happiness comes to them so naturally. I crave their normalcy.
It’s so easy for me to read the book of their character and assimilate myself into their story. To play the part of the perfect teenager with the perfect sister and the perfect friends.
But its hollow. Devoid of any actual meaning. Every conversation and every fake laugh cracks my character a little more. The insurmountable energy it takes to be like everyone else. To hold the strings to my smile. To be happy in a way that doesn’t involve deep dark connection or pain.
I get so tired. And the character shatters. So I need to start again with new friends. To try again to find a version of me that fits. A place where I know who I am and who I can be.
But no matter how hard I cling to the character, no matter how deeply I believe this is it this time, I shatter again. I’m empty again. I’m alone in the cruelty of being everything for everyone and nothing for myself.
It’s just easier to be alone.
Interested?
Find this book on Goodreads, IndieStoryGeek and Amazon.
Connect with Aella on Goodreads, Instagram and check out her website for updates.
If you are an indie author and would like to do a book excerpt, check out my work with me page for details.
Cover image: Photo on Unsplash
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