Abi Yardimci – Author of Life is Yours

I am chatting with Abi Yardimci, author of Life is Yours that I talked about yesterday, one of the sweetest novels I read this year. This is Abi’s debut novel and I am quite impressed because she organized the blog tour for it all by herself! Here’s a little more about Abi –

Abi (Abigail) Yardimci is an author, blogger and creative mindfulness practitioner. She is a Geordie girl living by the sea in South Devon with her Turkish husband and two terrifying kids. She loves to blog and gets her kicks through mindful parenting styles, creative living and chocolate.

Her writing inspiration comes from scratching the surface of everyday life to find the underlying magic that connects us all. The fire beneath the frustration, the creativity beneath the boredom, the stillness beneath the chaos. Abi stays sane in the world of parenting by writing a popular blog called ‘Mum In The Moment’. You can find and follow her blog.

It was wonderful to connect with her! Join us as we talk British English, top 10 & more! Get some insights about the book, without any spoilers! 🙂

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• What was the moment when the idea of the book first came to be? What made you pursue it in a three-part series?

The idea of the book, Life Is Yours, came in a progression of different moments. Jess’s story, as you know, is based on a year of my own life, when my fiancé left me at the start of the year and I was left to pick up the pieces. What I thought was going to be the most horrific year, actually turned out to be the most magical time of my life. As I learned more about myself and how to get back to the roots of who I was, I fell back in love with writing and a particular friend of mine mentioned that he felt inspired by me. This was news to me! But it did make me reflect on what an amazing year I’d had and I knew I could turn it into a story that, one day, people might want to read.

Life Is Yours was always going to be in three parts because it felt, to me, as if that year had occurred in three main parts.

I felt it was really important, in particular, to include the third part, as quite often we get to see our hero or heroine walk off into the sunset with their newly found partner / life / beliefs, but we don’t see what happens afterwards. Having a naturally inquisitive mind, I always want to know! And I think it’s really valuable to understand that any transformation – good or bad – can leave us with shifting feelings of uncertainty and also a bit of loss. So I get really honest in the third part about the things that changed around me as a result of my own internal changes. Things like friendships, my career, my decisions and opportunities.

• Friendship holds such an important place throughout this novel. Would you like to give a shout-out to some of your friends who have helped you in recent years?

Oh, that’s a lovely thing to ask! Life Is Yours the whole trilogy took me about ten years to write – so there are so many people who have helped along the way. In terms of the friends who actually inspire some characters in the book, and show friendship for the magic that it can be, I’d shout-out to Gemma, Emma, Mark, Paul, James and Tori. And I think the character, Lindy, who features as Jess’s confidante, is an amalgamation of all the women who have and continue to uplift and inspire me in their fierce, feminine ways.

• The story starts off with Lindy and until the end, her situation is a mystery to us, though we do get a glimpse of her struggles through Jess’s story. I look forward to learning more about her. Did you have a similar experience where you happened upon someone and got mesmerized by their story? 

I love the connection between Lindy and Jess on the beach. It just shows how easily we, as women, can connect if we throw off the shackles of expectation and let our vulnerability shine through. Sometimes vulnerability is the key, because courage sits so closely alongside it.

I never met somebody on a beach like Jess did, but throughout that year and even now, I am seeing how possible it is to form a bond with somebody quite quickly if you are living an authentic life. And on the other end of the scale, it’s quite easy to recognize who you aren’t going to want around you too, which is very useful!

• ‘Talking through finances with your ex’ is one of the top ten undesirable things a girl has to do. Taking inspiration from that, what are your top 10 most desirable things to do?

I don’t think I’d dare to put these things in order, but here are ten anyway…

~ Eat chocolate – without a doubt
~ Do yoga
~ Laugh with my kids
~ Dance
~ Sing
~ Meditate
~ Cuddle and whisper with my husband
~ Write
~ Have a good old heart-to-heart / putting-the-world-to-rights with a friend
~ Be by the sea

(If there was an 11^th it would be ‘sleep’!)

• If readers could take one thing away from this book, what would you want it to be?

Be yourself – fully and unapologetically (and if you’re not sure who that is then don’t worry – it will come).

• I love journaling and have found writing in my journal to be one of the most soothing and calming things. Did you stumble upon writing your feelings regularly the same way as Jess did?

Journaling is something I can take or leave depending on the mood I’m in or what’s going on around me. However, when I was in the throes of heartbreak, and thought I’d lost who I was, yes, journaling played a massive part in getting back to me. I felt it grounded me, gave me the chance to reflect, and find some time to pause. I’m quite a structured person, so the ‘Three Positive Things’ idea worked very well for me, as did lists or little sketches. I used my actual journal that I wrote in during 2006 to help me remember everything I wanted to include in Life Is Yours, and I still have it to this day. It’s lovely to look back on.

• I read primarily American English works and really enjoyed your work which is in British English. There are so many cultural references and words that I do no use in day-to-day life! Do you find your experience of reading American works similar to how I found yours?

I’m so glad you picked up on that because I specifically wanted Life Is Yours to feel very British. Yes, I’m aware that a lot of successful stories coming at us in movie, TV or book formats are American-English. I wanted my very British and very Northern voice to come through as part of the charm and authenticity of the story. I can’t bear it when a British story by a British author gets adapted with words like ‘vacation’ or ‘sidewalk’. It sounds so wrong and I don’t see any need for it! I hope you didn’t get too confused by the terminology though, do let me know if you’d like any translations!

• Life is yours is such a sweet story about friendship and becoming one’s own person. What are some of your favorite stories that give your strength, which are light-hearted and you love going back to?

I’m not sure these are light-hearted, but they are the ones that come instantly to mind:

• The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho – one of the most powerful books I’ve ever read about getting out of your own way and becoming who you really are.

• Chocolat by Joanne Harris – I could read this over and over again (and have done) – it’s so beautiful in its imagery and storytelling. Love it!

• The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini – for the wonderful strength of friendship and the way our emotional experiences as children can shape who we become.

• A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini – it shows how unbelievably strong women can be and the mystical ties we have to each other if only we allow them.

• Me Before You by JoJo Moyes – has me in tears every time but one of the most beautiful stories about connection, commitment and love.

• Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert – I panicked when I first read this book because it was so similar to the Life Is Yours trilogy in themes and structure. But I eventually figured there was enough room in the world for another story about heartache and awakening so I kept on writing, instead feeling inspired and encouraged by Liz Gilbert’s words.

• What would you tell your younger self when it comes to writing?

Just keep bloody doing it! There is no need to worry about who will read it or what people will think of it, just write because it’s part of who you need to be in this world.

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** Life is Yours is now available so get a copy and let me know what you think! Let’s have a book-discussion! Check out my thoughts here.**
Amazon Print
Amazon Kindle
(available on Kindle Unlimited)

Ways to connect with Abi:

Twitter	Facebook	Instagram
	Website (with Life is yours merchandise)

Cover image: Photo by Leonardo Wong on Unsplash