Waiting to Create

Dear friend, welcome to the second article of Creating While Caring series! Today, we will discuss the concept of waiting while we juggle other priorities in life. This year on maternity leave with my baby gave me lots of down time though in the beginning it didn’t feel that way. I was so engrossed in learning the new skills of being a mama to a new human being that some days, putting down my book reviews or books felt unjust. Why did I have to give up everything?! As time passed and I adjusted to my new role, I made peace with the waiting. Then I went back to working full-time and the waiting has only increased with more things filling my day. I am posting this article at a time when I need it most. The peace I made is remade every couple weeks.

When we parent or give care to someone, we put their needs before our needs and wants. We have learned the hard lesson of letting go of our timelines and prioritizing someone else, whether they are a newborn, a child, a sick family member or even ourselves during those periods of not feeling motivated enough or not well to do the work we want to do.

In this post, we will look at six quotes about waiting. I’ll analyze them from the perspective of pursuing my crafts as well as parenting. These quotes were curated by the wonderful Lauren Martin of Words of Women, a blog dedicated to quotes by women and taking inspiration from them. I love Lauren’s work and was introduced to it through her book, The Book of Moods. Let’s begin.

Waiting

Let’s take a few minutes to think about waiting. What comes to mind when you hear/read this word? What memories surface for you?

Waiting is an act on hold. It can have the energy of restlessness or anticipation. It has some uncertainty to it. Sometimes we don’t know how long we will have to wait for something. Sometimes we don’t even know we were waiting until the wait is over. 

My daughter has taught me a lot about waiting. She has taught me to be kind while I wait for an opportunity to continue what I want to pursue. She has shown me my intense frustration when I had to give up what I’m doing to meet her needs. That I’m not always kind to myself as I wait. 

In all the instances where I have waited, the end result has been sweet. Whether it’s finally arriving at the moment when I can write the thoughts I didn’t want to forget when she called me, or the invitation to the ceremony that made me a Canadian citizen… After the wait, there is bliss. 

Here are six quotes that I find full of wisdom. Though they are about writing, they can easily be taken to be about parenting or any other craft that you are pursuing. 

Reflections around quotes about waiting

On waiting and work

Sarah Manguso : The wait is part of the work.

Clarice Lispector : The waiting is part of the writing. Without the waiting, nothing will come. 

In parenting, there are milestones to wait for as they are markers of a baby’s growth and independence. I’m thinking of rolling, crawling, starting solid foods, and walking. But there are also milestones that the professionals don’t talk about. They have everything to do with noticing and living. These include the first time I noticed she was climbing me, the first time she smiled at someone I love, the first time she hugged a stuffie close and found comfort, the first time she slept by herself in a sleep sack, the first time she joined me in the kitchen, or most importantly, the first time she knew me from everyone else. In parenting a baby, the wait for all this is part of the work. The work is seeing our baby blossom and grow.

When it comes to writing, I wait for the time to write. The first draft of this piece has been picked up and added at least a dozen times, between periods of my baby’s naps, her play, household duties and more. In the early years of launching series like TBR Tales, I used to worry and wait for ideas. Lately, I don’t worry about ideas anymore. They come. I note them and then wait for the right time to pursue them. 

Without the pause between writing sessions, where would I find ideas? I have never been one to complete one project and jump into the next. This shows from the number of books I have on the go at any time. I always have a few brewing in various stages. At some point, I’ll tell you about how I keep track of ideas but that’s a post for another day. Wait for that if you like. Look forward to it if you can. 

On waiting and time

Mary Oliver : Things take the time they take. Don’t worry.

Ursula K. Le Guin : It is a mistake to think that moving fast is the same as actually going somewhere.

We have a rough idea of when babies achieve certain milestones. Between 4 and 7 months, for example, they roll, between 8 and 12 months, they get a second pair of teeth… 3 months is a long time and in a baby’s life, they have grown tremendously. They may or may not have reached all the milestones in gross and fine motor, language, social etc., skills but each baby is getting there at his/her own pace and will get there. As parents, we worry. But things will happen for our little human when they are ready.

I think about the early days of when my baby started crawling. At first she wasn’t fast. Then suddenly, over one weekend, she gained speed. She was fast but she couldn’t get to the thing she wanted by taking the shortest route. She would take turns even though there were no obstacles in her way and other times, she would just crawl over things in her way.

I see now that writing is like crawling. Sometimes, I write lengthy things and don’t see the point of them. The word count is high but there is nothing special on paper. Sometimes, I have to borrow from other authors to even write anything – when I use quotes to frame reviews is an example of when I need those scaffolds. Other times, I’ll suddenly put down a sentence that will blow me away.  Writing takes time. Writing takes waiting for the words that will satisfy us and fill us with joy that we have finally said what we wanted to say how we wanted to say it.

On waiting and the right ____

Helene Cixous : Writing is waiting. Waiting for the word, waiting for the right time, waiting for the reader who is waiting for you.

When my husband and I decided to become parents, there was waiting for pregnancy. Waiting for the life that would be born. I remember the last month of my pregnancy once I reached full term. She was going to arrive at some point. We didn’t know when, just that we would get a sign. And then she arrived, not on the “due date” but at the time that was right for her. Sometimes I look at other mama-baby duos and I feel it in my bones that she is the child for me. That no other baby would teach me all she has taught me already.

It’s like putting down these words. These are my words that are finally arriving after every experience that I have had, everything that has led me to this moment. I was doing a meditation by Sarah Boldvin earlier and she made me think of the times I was disappointed in life. I look back at 2016 and 2017 me and tell her that all those challenges and trials were leading me here and I didn’t even know it. Hardship is also about waiting to blossom and become more. 

From this quote, I love the concept of waiting for the reader. I write book reviews and articles and put them on my blog for whoever to find when they need them. There are pieces from 2022 that still get views and who knows what year you are reading this in. I don’t know how many readers will arrive here and how many will make it this far. 

All I know is that my words matter. 

To me. 

To someone. 

And I have to wait to put them down. And once they are written, I have to wait for the right readers to come to them. Thanks for being here. 🙂

On waiting and returning 

Charlotte Bronte : The greatest art is only achieved through long patience and application. 

Today, I cannot paint a picture of who my daughter will be in a decade. She is in the first plane of development in Montessori terms. She is becoming physically independent and until age 6, she will be considered to have an absorbent mind, taking in everything around her effortlessly. I don’t know a lot about her temperament, abilities, passions just yet. But with patience and observation and influence, I’ll find out. She’ll grow into who she is meant to become.

These words I put down will shape into what I really want to say. Yes, there will be the work of editing, cutting down, rephrasing, deleting and rewriting but over time, I will be able to say what my heart wants to read and show you. It will take patience and repeated returns to mould whatever it is I’m working on. This is my art. I’m learning to be proud of all I have done and all it already is.

Conclusion

Waiting is the path itself. While we wait for something, life keeps going. Maybe we find more inspiration in that wait or nothing at all. Sometimes there is only the flame to reach for the one idea we are captivated by. 

I’m learning to not take waiting as a bad thing. I’m learning to see it as a liminal space where something is on pause and the right moment is on its way.

Questions for you, Reader

Was there an event in your life that made you acutely aware of your relationship to waiting? 

Was there a quote that resonated with you the most? Was it something I said?

What are you waiting for right now? How is waiting part of your work?

These words have been waiting for you. 😊