Welcome friend! For this second reading pause, I spent time with pages 45-88 of The Names. Let’s start with what happened in the book in these pages.
In the Book:
It’s seven years later, the year 1994. Maia is 16 years old and her brother is 7 years of age.
I love the unique bond that Bear and Maia share! He calls her Bees and he is adorable. I couldn’t get enough of the chapter from his narrative. I also got a glimpse into Maia and Cora. Since the domestic violence all those years ago, life has moved on. They have become almost a family unit with Fern and Mehri, a daughter-mother duo who were also present at swimming when Maia was young. After Gordon was arrested, Cora’s mom, Sílbhe, came to live with them. Her guilt in not being able to support her daughter earlier was palpable and one little scene of the neighbours bringing out their power washer to clean the deck off blood rather than watching Sílbhe scrub it endlessly was very touching.
I met Sílbhe in a completely different setting with Julian. Cora is gone and the kids have moved into her care. Though Maia did not like ballet when she was young, she has now embraced it as a way to connect to her mother. Life changes with a phone call sometimes. For Sílbhe, the children are everything to her. She may have fallen in love and built a brand new life but having them has filled her with a maternal obsession like never before. In this life, everyone but Julian is in counselling. Losing Cora has left a mark on them.
Gordon has grown up distanced from Cora. He has a mean streak that he doesn’t understand nor does he like his name. His father aggravates this further by asking him to share details about his mother when he is at work – how does she spend her time, what does she say, what does she do? In an attempt to be seen by his father, Gordon’s young mind has blurred the lines between what she said and what he spiced up. Maia can see right through it and when she happens upon Cora and her father in a particularly low moment for Cora, she takes things into her hands and asks Sílbhe to intervene. Cora thinks that she has succeeded in keeping her children safe but her daughter knows her too well. Gordon has her under his thumb, setting up an elaborate background of psychotic history for her, making sure that if she left, she would be deemed unfit and never see her children.
Reflection on the Story so Far:
As I end this set of pages, I think about Gordon. How no matter the name of his son, he is unchanged. He may not be present in some of the lives but he is there. An unseen force that has terrorized Maia to the point that she is the one looking out for her mother. He is a black hole that has changed his son to be someone who lashes out. I don’t like him at all. His physician status gives him great standing in the community and no matter how life unfolds, he is a respected figure whose heinous acts are looked at with disbelief. Cora steps out of his shadow in all lives but one, sometimes at the cost of herself. It is very sad and at the same time, so well written.
A Quote:
And so they’d sat in the living room-Cora, Maia, and Bear— and listened as the car pulled away, leaving them in eerie silence, the quiet somehow bigger than the space her mother had taken up. And even though Cora hadn’t wanted her to go, she’d needed to know she was capable of doing this alone. Whatever this may be.
The Names, pg 56-57
Thoughts:
I have been Cora in this moment. The morning my husband dropped my mom off at the bus station so she could catch her flight to India, I remember being in stillness with my daughter. What were we going to do? How was I going to manage? It was the end of the daily support. It was time to grow up and assume full responsibility for my daughter. Even though I’d already been doing it, having my mom around had given me strength. I had someone to go to, not just when I was unsure about my baby, but also when I was unsure about life itself. I learned a lot in those 2 months but it had to come to an end. Like Cora, I needed to know I was capable of doing this alone and here we are now, 3 months later, thriving in ways I never imagined.
In My Life:
I would have continued to read but there was so much to unpack in these pages that I decided to pause and really think about it.
Today, I was visiting my dad, step mom and brother with my daughter. As I sat reading this book while my daughter slept and my dad and brother chatted about mundane things, I felt immersed in extended family life. Reading about Sílbhe and how having the children changed her life was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. I personally felt the bond deepen with my parents after I became a parent. They were my age when I was a newborn and I have a lot of empathy and understanding for their worldview then, even if I don’t have the insight into why they made the decisions that led me to my present day.
As I reflect on my childhood and its remnants that I have held on to, I know exactly how Maia feels by the ways of living that she has internalized. I remember when I was newly married, one of the questions my grandfather would ask me was if my husband fights with me. I would laugh and say no and then later wonder about this question. After all, my grandparents fought a lot when I was growing up.
Closing today with my sadness for the world where Cora doesn’t exist — Gordon wasn’t going to forgive her for naming his son Julian and it looks like he got his revenge, but at least the children are not in his care. On the other side, I rejoice in Maia and her brother having Sílbhe looking out for them in varying capacities in their varied lives. I have been the child who was adored by her grandparents. It is a lovely feeling and I’m so happy for them to experience this love.
See you at the next pause after reading pages 89-134. 🙂
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