Welcome friend! Today I am sharing about a book that stole my heart – The Things We Cannot Say. Like one of the books I pick up because they are stories long loved by readers, I went in knowing only that it was historical fiction. I didn’t read the synopsis. What I found was a beautiful and heartbreaking multigenerational story set in contemporary United States and Second World War Poland.
In 1942, Europe remains in the relentless grip of war. Just beyond the tents of the Russian refugee camp she calls home, a young woman speaks her wedding vows. It’s a decision that will alter her destiny…and it’s a lie that will remain buried until the next century.
Since she was nine years old, Alina Dziak knew she would marry her best friend, Tomasz. Now fifteen and engaged, Alina is unconcerned by reports of Nazi soldiers at the Polish border, believing her neighbors that they pose no real threat, and dreams instead of the day Tomasz returns from college in Warsaw so they can be married. But little by little, injustice by brutal injustice, the Nazi occupation takes hold, and Alina’s tiny rural village, its families, are divided by fear and hate. Then, as the fabric of their lives is slowly picked apart, Tomasz disappears. Where Alina used to measure time between visits from her beloved, now she measures the spaces between hope and despair, waiting for word from Tomasz and avoiding the attentions of the soldiers who patrol her parents’ farm. But for now, even deafening silence is preferable to grief.
Slipping between Nazi-occupied Poland and the frenetic pace of modern life, Kelly Rimmer creates an emotional and finely wrought narrative that weaves together two women’s stories into a tapestry of perseverance, loyalty, love and honor. The Things We Cannot Say is an unshakable reminder of the devastation when truth is silenced…and how it can take a lifetime to find our voice before we learn to trust it.
The Things We Cannot Say – Review
The Things We Cannot Say is narrated by Alina as a young girl in Poland and Alice, whose grandmother is from Poland. As it happened with numerous people who had to leave their war torn country, names have changed when they started a new life in another country. Part of the mystery in this story is that Alice’s grandmother actually goes by Hanna. She has never talked about her childhood and the war times and now, at her death bed, she wants to share the truth with her family. She asks Alice to take a trip to Poland and discover her family history. But Alice herself has a family to take care of and she is unable to leave her seven year old son who is on the autism spectrum and her ten year old brilliant daughter to their workaholic father.
Though it is hard to say how different my reading of this book would have been before I had my daughter, I believe that having her, even though she’s only 4 months old, gave me empathy and understanding for Alice’s family life. The story begins with her at a supermarket. Her seven year old son is having a meltdown because his favourite yogurt is not there. She is struggling to get him to calm down, cursing herself for not having extra yogurt at hand and for the yogurt company to have changed their packaging. She is also scared because her beloved Babcia has had a stroke and they are headed to the hospital from the supermarket. Her husband and mother haven’t been the supports she wants and, as I learned more about Alice’s present situation, the curve balls life threw her became starkly clear. Her dream to return to work after the kids were born never came to fruition because Edison was found to be on the autism spectrum and takes all her attention now. Pascale is gifted and has her own challenges at school and home. Their father has not made an effort to build a relationship with Edison and doesn’t know the first thing about taking care of him.
Before this book, I was reading Molly Milwood’ss To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma (check out this post for thoughts and other books). It did a wonderful job of highlighting the strains that children bring into a couple’s relationship and it broke my heart to read how Wade had shed responsibility. Babcia’s request to Alice to go to Poland reminds Alice of all that she had wanted life to be before Edison and she takes a big leap of faith, even though it is done in anger, to honor her favorite person’s wishes, knowing very well that she might lose her while she is away and that leaving the kids with her husband would be extremely challenging, particularly with Edison.
This trip is the making of Alice and Wade. It forces Wade to step into Alice’s shoes and The Things We Cannot Say beautifully conveys the tensions of differing parenting styles, one parent knowing better than the other, the contribution of an older sibling and much more. There is a lot that is left unsaid in Alice’s story and I loved that.
“I have a great love just like Babcia’s great love—and this man is it. It’s not clean and simple, because our lives are not clean and simple— and it’s harder day-to-day to keep that love in our focus, because we have so much else to manage.” – Alice on Wade
I also adored Pascale and her unfiltered comments about how Wade was going to manage with Edison. They were sad and funny at the same time and watching her step up to help her dad and brother made my mama-heart swell in pride for her. While I read this book, I was Alice.
Coming to Alina’s story set in Poland, it explored how a young girl’s mind adjusted to the realities of living in a country occupied by the Nazis. Her family is Roman Catholic. Her beloved, Tomasz, is a young man with dreams to be a paediatrician and begins his education in the city. But the occupations disrupts his efforts and he finds himself helping the oppressors to save his life. He feels like a coward and his actions deeply shake his self image. When he is finally able to flee the city, he makes it his life mission to help his Jewish friends, particularly his mentor, his wife and their newborn. He returns to Alina and eventually finds them both safe passage to a new beginning.
“Home is not the country we stand in—it’s us. Home is the future we have been planning and dreaming of. We can build it anywhere.” – Tomasz
Alina’s narrative is one of a young woman discovering her strength and the realizing the horrors of war. There are so many times when she doesn’t know how she will do something and inspite of the fear and anguish, she does it anyway. She loves Tomasz fiercely and has unshakable faith in him. Circumstances sometimes lead her away from him but she believes they will make their way back to one another. Her friendship with Saul is heartwarming and, in times of tragedy, they become each other’s life boats.
“War breaks us down to nothing more than our most selfish will to survive— but when we rise above that instinct, miracles can still happen.” – Saul
At the end of the story, I was reminded how much family matters and how intimately our partners can know us. Though Alice’s father was barely in the book and Alice’s mom’s relationship with her mother was not explored, a simple comment from him, “Your mother has a tough exterior, but her mother was her sun and her moon,” speaks volumes to the relationship they had and the grief that loss entails. I have always believed that children bring families closer but it’s also on us, as parents, to maintain relationships so that our kids can have them too. There have been times over the years when I’ve felt distant from one or the other parents but in the grand picture, I would not be without them and I want my daughter to know them, and then to know her like Babcia knows and believes in Alice, finding Tomasz living through her.
“It’s all because of my beautiful Alice, with those laughing green eyes she inherited from my Tomasz-those eyes that she has passed on to our special, perfect Eddie. […] She shares that same love of learning and knowledge and story, the same sense of compassion, the same ability to dream big despite her circumstances-even if she sometimes forgets she’s allowed to do just that.” – Hanna
I was also reminded that we all have to do hard things and they are good for us. Like Alice, I’ll find a way to enjoy myself and be myself, not just as a mother or a wife.
Have you read The Things We Cannot Say? If so, what did you think of it? Tell me in the comments.
If not, based on this review, will you add it to your TBR? I appreciate you checking out this review! In these postpartum days, it means a lot to be able to continue to share. 🙂
For more historical fiction reviews, check out this page.
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